Please edit my essay?

Describe a person you have encountered who has best net your expectation of a professional.





My most influential person in my life is my best friend. She has forwarded three principles on which I have found my actions and success: diligence, proficiency and courtesy.


The first principle, that I agree, is diligence. My friend worked harder than any woman that I know to arrive where she is today. She was born in a very poor family with nine siblings. She was the second child in her family. She left her family at age 14 to go to school which was 100 kilometers away. By the time she entered in the university to study dentistry, she had to work to support herself. She often tempted to return home and find a job to improve the economic condition of her family but she felt that the best way to do would be achieving an education.


I feel that this characteristic helps me in the hearing health profession, because I have to work hard to acquire proficient skills in this field.


The second principle, which I abide by, is proficiency. I remember that I had a severe toothache. I went to several dentists, but nobody could treat my problem. I called to my friend; she asked me if I could go to the city that she lived. She examines me, took a radiograph of my gum, finally she found the problem and treated my severe pain.


So I believe that if I study on different cases and if I do more research, I will be more proficient in the hearing health profession.


The third principle, witch I agree with, is courtesy. I recall that I was sitting in my friend office. A patient came in the office and he was arguing with my friend about the pain in his gum because of dentures that my friend had made for him. First she invited him to be calm and then she explained to him courteously that his gum has to use to new teeth.


I believe that when I am working in hearing health profession, I will see different patients with different attitudes. So it is better to act courteously at any time


In conclusion, if someone wants to be successful as a hearing instrument specialist, she/he must be diligent, proficient and courteous.

Please edit my essay?
Name your best friend. I've known instead of i know. put was often tempted. that the best way was to achieve a good education. in the hearing of health professions. that his gum has to use to new teeth? not sure what you mean. Anytime is one word.
Reply:at THE age OF 14


entered university


best way to do that would be GETTIng the education


I visited several dentists


she examined me


and healed my severe pain


in my friend's office


had to get used to new teeth


when i Work....i will see


to act courteously any time


I am not sure in some more cases....but I am not a native speaker, so may be it is possiable to say so.
Reply:Describe a person you have encountered who has best met your expectation of a professional.





My most influential person in my life is my best friend. She has forwarded three principles on to me which I have found my actions and success: diligence, proficiency and courtesy.


The first principle, that I agree, is diligence. My friend worked harder than any woman that I know to arrive where she is today. She was born in a very poor family with nine siblings. She was the second child in her family. She left her family at age 14 to go to school which was 100 kilometers away. By the time she had entered into the university to study dentistry, she had to work to support herself. She often tempted to return home and find a job to improve the economical condition of her family but she felt that the best way to do that would be to achieve an education.


I feel that this characteristic helps me in the hearing health profession, because I have to work hard to acquire proficient skills in this field.





The second principle, which I abide by, is proficiency. I remember that I had a severe toothache. I went to several dentists, but nobody could treat my problem. I called my friend, she asked me if I could go to the city where she lived. She examined me, took a radiograph of my gums, finally she found the problem and treated my severe pain.


So I believe that if I study on different cases and if I do more research, I will be more proficient in the hearing health profession.





The third principle, witch I agree with, is courtesy. I recall that I was sitting in my friends office. A patient came into the office and was arguing with my friend about the pain in his gums, because of dentures that my friend had made for him. First she asked him to be calm and then she explained to him courteously that his gums will have to get use to the new teeth.


I believe that when I am working in hearing health profession, I will see different patients with different attitudes. So it is better to act courteously at all times.





In conclusion, if someone wants to be successful as a hearing instrument specialist, she/he must be diligent, proficient and courteous.
Reply:You are lazy. You will not learn how to improve your writing by having someone else correct it for you. That is also intellectually dishonest.





But I will give you a few suggestions.





1. For goodness sakes, check your spelling!


2. Learn what paragraphing is.


3. Put correct punctuation, such as periods, at the ends of sentences.


4. Some of your sentences are not actually sentences. Learn what a sentence is.


5. Never conclude by saying 'In conclusion'.





I don't mean to be rude by making these suggestions.





If you have been struggling to learn English as a second language for a while, I congratulate you on your progress.





However if you have grown up using English then you must be very lazy and/or your schooling has been very poor indeed.
Reply:Sure thing! How much are paying ? And how?





OK, I was just kidding. Be glad to lend a helping hand.





My best friend - [insert name here], is the one person who has influenced the course of my life the most.





She taught me the three things that helped me make a success of my life - diligence, proficiency and courtesy.





The lesson of diligence, I learnt from her own life! Born the second of 10 children, [I'm assuming you meant that she + 9] of a very poor family; she left home to study at a school 100 kilometers away! And worked very hard till she finished her studies in Dentistry. Though she was often sorely tempted to go back home and work there so as to help the family economy, she stuck it out despite the hardships to achieve her goal and become a Dentist.





An example of the lesson of proficiency, that I remember, is when I'd had a severe problem with a toothache that all the local Doctors failed to cure. I called my friend who asked me to go over to her and did a few tests and a radiogram and cured me!





This is why I believe that if I study many different cases and do a lot of research, I will be more proficient in my chosen career in Hearing Health; like she proved in that instance by curing me with knowledge gained by research; where those that hadn't been as diligent failed to achieve the proficiency.





Finally, the lesson of courtesy was what I learnt when I saw how she courteously handled a patient who was complaining bitterly about his gums chafing from the new dentures.





As a professional in the Hearing Health Field [Please find the right word for this.] I think I will make a success of myself by following the three principles that [insert name of friend here] taught me of diligence, proficiency and courtesy.





Sorry, I had to re-write this for you; but then English isn't, evidently, your mother tongue and it was a bit confusing back there.





All the best.