"tom" was married before for 5 yrs with a 8 yr old son.tom allways has money and time for his 1st family but with me hes allways to "busy" and broke. here are just some examples.whenever toms ex calls(which is often) and wants him to take his son to the dentist,DR's ect he drops everything for her.But if i ask if he can take time off from work to help me he never can.If his ex calls for extra money(he already pays her what the court orders and then some) he allways come up with it but if i want to go out to eat(which is about once a month) he tells me hes broke.I don't want to sound like an evil stepmom as i love his son i just wish tom showed as much interest in me as his 1st family.
How do i get over being jealous of my new husband's 1st family?
i bet if you guys had your own little faimly he would pay less attention to your ex..
Reply:Sounds like to me he is an excellent father who goes the extra mile to help out his son. And he is helping out his son not his ex, giving her more money is for his son, taking him to appt helps his son. Id say talk to him seriously that you want him to spend more time on your marriage, dont drag his son into this cause it is not about him spending time with his son, but a matter of him not spending time with you. time and money he spends on his son is not time and money he is taking away from you, children always come first.
Reply:This is what you chose by marrying a divorcee. I think if you fight him on this, you will lose. Either find a way to accept this or move on. And don't start your own family thinking he will change, because he most likely will not. Don't bring more kids into this.
Reply:so for get it just don't care if he had a family if you can't brake up get a new one
Reply:Well, you have to remember that he is a father. I believe that some of the qualities you are complaining about now are the same ones that attracted you to him. He seems extremely loyal. He seems to be a wonderful father. And from what you say, I don't hear anything about him doing anything for his ex-wife personally.
You need to look at where his motivation is coming from. It seems like he is taking care of his son.
Now you do need to seperate the two when you present this to him. If you feel like he is not there for you then that's what you need to let him know. You have a good man. He just needs some fine tuning.
Reply:Ewwwww..... blending families is never easy, but it is possible. Do you have children of your own ? If so, you understand the committment to them, even after divorce. The kids will come first until they're on their own... and maybe even after that too. The two of you are partners... you need to support your partner and not ever be "jealous" of his child. Understandable that you'd like to go out for dinner occasionally... did you ever think of asking HIM out to dinner... on YOUR tab ? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he has to be the one to take you out Be proud of your husband for taking care of his responsibilities... and trust him... unless you have a damn solid reason not to. You'll get out of life what you put into it. Aim to get back to the reasons you fell for him in the first place.
Monday, April 27, 2009
What do you do if you and your whole family hates your sister's boyfriend?????
i am not sure how to handle this. my attitude has always been live and let live. my mom is so against this guy. my sister is 30 years old and has been dating this guy for a year. he is 27. he is in school, but will finish soon and graduate as a dentist. my sister recently finished law school. he is really sarcastic and mean towards my brother according to my mom. he picks on him because he was dumped by his girlfriend. he (the bf) laughed at my dad and said my dad said something that wasn't grammatical. plus, my mom says the bf is really unattractive, a real nerd. my parents had higher expectations for my sis. the bf is also cheap and his parents are hippie vegans. my parents think the bf is disrespectful towards them, our family, and brings out the worst in my sister. my sister says she loves him and he has declared his love for her. my mom thinks he is a dud and fears my sis will end up marrying him, having a kid and then waking up and getting a divorce.
What do you do if you and your whole family hates your sister's boyfriend?????
Tell your parents that if your sister loves him then it's none of their business who she marries because it's her choice and they can'tcontrol that or stop everything bad happening to her, coz bad things are going to happen.
Reply:let your sister think you like him, then point out subtly(if thats how ya spell it) the things that you all dont approve of when he does them, eg: why is he laughing at that-its not really funny
Reply:Nothing you can do. She is grown and you and your family need to leave her alone. When she gets criticism from you and your family who do you think she turns too? This only makes her relationship with him feel stronger. She has to find out on her own that he is the wrong man for her, if he is. All you are going to do is end up making her feel she cannot come to you and this is not a good thing. Abusive men tend to alienate the women they are with from family and friends and you and your family are helping him do this.
Reply:this person is ignort,school did nothing for him,he doesn,t know how to talk to people.he is very rude with your family.i,d say have a kangaroo court.this is everybody in the family and him sit down at a table or somewhere,you tell each other what bothers you about that person and than try to discuss how to be better.it may help.or someone in the family becomes a spokes person for everyone and talks with your sister and her boyfriend and tells them how everyone feels.he may be in the family for a while,so you need to do something.if your sister gets mad.tell her you guys are trying to get along but he,s not .good luck
Reply:I think you must force your sister to forget that boy . coz, if your parents dislike that boy then somewhere they are right , becoz they are well experienced than your sister. %26amp; if your sister have the guts then definately she will get a prince who will love her more than this boy. I didn't see him but i think he is not a right match for your sister %26amp; remember one thing that there is no one at the top in your life than your parents.
Good luck.
What do you do if you and your whole family hates your sister's boyfriend?????
Tell your parents that if your sister loves him then it's none of their business who she marries because it's her choice and they can'tcontrol that or stop everything bad happening to her, coz bad things are going to happen.
Reply:let your sister think you like him, then point out subtly(if thats how ya spell it) the things that you all dont approve of when he does them, eg: why is he laughing at that-its not really funny
Reply:Nothing you can do. She is grown and you and your family need to leave her alone. When she gets criticism from you and your family who do you think she turns too? This only makes her relationship with him feel stronger. She has to find out on her own that he is the wrong man for her, if he is. All you are going to do is end up making her feel she cannot come to you and this is not a good thing. Abusive men tend to alienate the women they are with from family and friends and you and your family are helping him do this.
Reply:this person is ignort,school did nothing for him,he doesn,t know how to talk to people.he is very rude with your family.i,d say have a kangaroo court.this is everybody in the family and him sit down at a table or somewhere,you tell each other what bothers you about that person and than try to discuss how to be better.it may help.or someone in the family becomes a spokes person for everyone and talks with your sister and her boyfriend and tells them how everyone feels.he may be in the family for a while,so you need to do something.if your sister gets mad.tell her you guys are trying to get along but he,s not .good luck
Reply:I think you must force your sister to forget that boy . coz, if your parents dislike that boy then somewhere they are right , becoz they are well experienced than your sister. %26amp; if your sister have the guts then definately she will get a prince who will love her more than this boy. I didn't see him but i think he is not a right match for your sister %26amp; remember one thing that there is no one at the top in your life than your parents.
Good luck.
Does anyone know how many patients the average dentist sees a day if they are working in a family clinic?
I'm a dentist.
That number can vary greatly, depending on the type of practice.
Some practices see a lot of patients with insurance and take wide variety of insurances, and as a result the doctor has to see more patients per day in order to maintain a certain level of income. Other practices take very few insurance patients, and as such can make the same amount of money with less work (although they tend not to have as large a patient pool).
Additionally, the speed of the doctor makes a huge difference. Some doctors perform their work (fillings, root canals, extractions, etc. etc.) at different speeds.
Also, the number of hygienists working in the practice affects the number of patients a doctor can see. Remember, the doctor has to check the hygiene patients too, so this cuts into his/her schedule.
Finally, the procedures being performed on patients makes a difference. If, for example, I have a day where all of my patients are there for fillings, I might see as many as 20 patients. If I have a lot of root canals and crowns, it's going to be signficantly less.
If I had to give you an "average", I'd say it's 15, give or take a few.
Does anyone know how many patients the average dentist sees a day if they are working in a family clinic?
About 12 to 16
That number can vary greatly, depending on the type of practice.
Some practices see a lot of patients with insurance and take wide variety of insurances, and as a result the doctor has to see more patients per day in order to maintain a certain level of income. Other practices take very few insurance patients, and as such can make the same amount of money with less work (although they tend not to have as large a patient pool).
Additionally, the speed of the doctor makes a huge difference. Some doctors perform their work (fillings, root canals, extractions, etc. etc.) at different speeds.
Also, the number of hygienists working in the practice affects the number of patients a doctor can see. Remember, the doctor has to check the hygiene patients too, so this cuts into his/her schedule.
Finally, the procedures being performed on patients makes a difference. If, for example, I have a day where all of my patients are there for fillings, I might see as many as 20 patients. If I have a lot of root canals and crowns, it's going to be signficantly less.
If I had to give you an "average", I'd say it's 15, give or take a few.
Does anyone know how many patients the average dentist sees a day if they are working in a family clinic?
About 12 to 16
Who Can Notarize a Family Responsibility Office Form?
WIthin Ontario, I have a Family Responsibility Office Form that needs to be notarized. Can anyone tell me who can authorize it? My Mom says any professional such as our pharmacist, dentist or doctor with a stamp can do this - but I'm not sure. It is the form you file with the FRO office to put in motion the process of collecting child support payments from the father when he does not follow the court orders.
Thank you very much.
Who Can Notarize a Family Responsibility Office Form?
Don't know if it's the same there as here in the states, but most banks have a notary, and as long as you're a customer, there's no charge for their services. I would doubt that the other professionals you mentioned would be notaries as part of their profession, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask.
leather sandals
Thank you very much.
Who Can Notarize a Family Responsibility Office Form?
Don't know if it's the same there as here in the states, but most banks have a notary, and as long as you're a customer, there's no charge for their services. I would doubt that the other professionals you mentioned would be notaries as part of their profession, but I suppose it wouldn't hurt to ask.
leather sandals
There must be something in Family guy.?
Apart from racial Jokes, sexual innuendo, and animals that speak like gay men, Family guy must have other forms of humor here are some:
1=%26gt;...(_l_)ow I forgot the first one
2=%26gt;When someone is almost going to say something and it comes to be different from what you thought it would be.(Shock?)
3=%26gt;(A flashback/memory) This brown alien character(ridges on his head) in Star trek is angered and says: "suck my ridges" haha,.. could this mean som ething else.
(this next one is not from Family guy but I heard it from some stand up comedian)
4=%26gt;"...When I was young I was afraid of the dentist,.. he was a pedophile"(I never expected to hear the last part if this sentence)
There must be something in Family guy.?
I'm sorry, what is your question?
Reply:um, soooo what the heck u asking man?
Reply:ok...
1=%26gt;...(_l_)ow I forgot the first one
2=%26gt;When someone is almost going to say something and it comes to be different from what you thought it would be.(Shock?)
3=%26gt;(A flashback/memory) This brown alien character(ridges on his head) in Star trek is angered and says: "suck my ridges" haha,.. could this mean som ething else.
(this next one is not from Family guy but I heard it from some stand up comedian)
4=%26gt;"...When I was young I was afraid of the dentist,.. he was a pedophile"(I never expected to hear the last part if this sentence)
There must be something in Family guy.?
I'm sorry, what is your question?
Reply:um, soooo what the heck u asking man?
Reply:ok...
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Yes, I am a professional (dentist). Yes, I drink. Yes, I did hit my wife ONE TIME. Yes, I felt terrible. Yes, she left for 3 days and told her family. Yes, I pleaded for her to come back. Yes, I did get a DUI after she came back. No, I haven't hit her and I NEVER again will. Yes, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Wow...I'm of the belief that even one time is NEVER a "mistake"....we all have the ability to control our actions and our anger...and there's NEVER an excuse for hitting one's wife....NEVER. You say "only one time" like that's okay ? Like it justifies it ? Like it's not your fault ? Like she deserved it ? Let's see...I'm lower middle class schmuck...but I've NEVER laid a hand on my wife except to hug or hold her or in some other act of love...but you're still better than me because you have a doctorate for crying out loud ?!?!?!? I think you're a low-life wife beater who deserves to be in prison for assault....but I'm an uneducated schmuck without a doctorate...guess I can't make that assessment, huh ?
I don't blame her family for being mad- I would be too. I'd forgive, yes, but there's a much longer road of recovery after forgiveness takes place...you can't expect it over night- it could literally take years.
You need therapy for this and maybe...just maybe your wife will eventually see you are sincere (if you are) and start to trust you again.
I put spousal abuse right on par with adultery/an affair. It's a conscious act and it never "just happens". Wife beaters are one of the worst type of people there are...and if you did it once, you obviously have a problem- what's to say you won't do it again ?
Am I being harsh ? You bet I am- you deserve it....and you DON'T deserve your wife...you better start begging and pleading and hope that she'll give you another chance...you don't deserve it though, and she'd be totally justified to leave you. Do you have kids ? Do/would you hit them too ?
Anyway, I'm off my soap box...sorry, but this is a touchy subject with me...
I do hope you are truly sorry though- I have to at least give you props for admitting publicly that you made a big mistake- that's at least a step in the right direction...unless you're just feeling sorry for yourself, which will make you a bigger loser than you already are....beat the wife and blame her for it- typical of that mindset.
Where are you a dentist at ? Let us all know so we can be sure to avoid your practice.
Have a blessed weekend....and tell your wife the same :-)
Reply:trust isn't a gimme, it takes time.
Anger is dangerous if left uncontrolled.
Reply:I hope you learned from your mistake.
You can have any Ph.D, doctorate thing, whatever, as long as you don't have the right feelings, then school won't help for this.
Go with your wife and set up a family reunion. Be serious, tell everything you feel. And stop drinking too much. This can worse the situation. Best of luck, hope you learned and if you have honest feelings hope the family %26amp; wife sees that.
Reply:You did it wifebeater. Your loss. Don't hit your wife loser.
Reply:Wow, only "weeks ago" and you're shocked that you haven't earned their trust and respect back?
You screwed up. You need to prove to your wife and her family that you know you screwed up and that you're sorry you screwed up and that it won't happen again.
And that takes more than a few weeks. Trust is easily shattered, but hard to rebuild.
The fact that you still drink and have a DUI after she came back says, to me, that you haven't changed as much as you'd like some others to believe.
Reply:every man says it happened once and it will NEVER happen again, but you never truly know. im only 16 and i have been in 4 abusive relationships, they said sorry and they would never do it again after they did for the first time one sent me to the hospital and one almost put me in my grave so her family is just really pretective of her. you cant predit the future. try to stop drinking and maybe minds will change. good luck.
Reply:arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- can't imagine what their problem is.
Why don't you try looking at yourself instead of blaming everyone else and realize that when your little girl is with an arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- it may take more than a few weeks and words of apology to get past it.
Oh yeah and by the way no one cares about your stupid doctorate when your little girl is with an arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- rather she was with an uneducated, caring, responsible, loving man.
What is wrong with you that you think that matters one iota in this situation.
Reply:Go get counseling for your alcohol abuse and domestic violence issues.
This usually isn't something that happens out of the blue once and never again. I would be willing to bet that there is a pattern of verbal and emotional abuse, and you are using your "doctorate professional" BS to make her feel stupid and wrong in comparison and control her.
Maybe after you take this seriously enough to admit you need help you can gradually regain her and her family's trust.
Weeks is not NEARLY long enough for them to just "get past this". You will be digging out of this hole for years to come, if you ever can. Best be ready to do some sincerely contrite groveling.
Reply:They love her. They don't hit her. Apologies are not enough. If you really mean it -- get some counseling. Go the extra mile and make the extra effort.
Your education and earning potential have NOTHING to do with having an abusive personality or a drinking problem.
Reply:We all learned in kindergarten not to hit each other are you getting therapy? are you still drinking? how long would it take you to trust someone again who betrayed you? You are an educated man of course oh and violence has no boundary's
Reply:It's because you are an educated schmuck who hits his wife for whatever reason. Doctorate or not if you hit my daughter the only place she'd see you three days later is the hospital or the funeral home. If the worst thing that happened to you is that your in-laws don't trust then I think you got off lucky.
Reply:Big deal that you have a doctorate....education doesn't come into play when you are talking about physical abuse....You hit your wife...and her family may or may not forgive you....There is NEVER any justification for hitting another....unless you are defending yourself....Perhaps you should seek treatment for your alcohol problem...which could be the ultimate reason for you bad choices...
Reply:I think you should make a public apology to her and her family while everyone is there, let them voice their opinions and concerns and stop drinking !
Reply:The reason that her family won't let this go is because you harmed their child (I'm assuming that her parents are the ones that are upset). Imagine how you'd feel if your daughter was married to someone that you really loved and then he hit her. Wouldn't that upset you? Wouldn't that make you mad? Would you forgive him for hitting her???
I agree with the other person who posted -- trust is something that is earned, not just given. Just because you have a doctorate doesn't make you any better than the drunk down the street that beats his wife daily.
What is important is that you get some help if you have an anger problem that is compounded by your drinking. It's never acceptable for a man to hit a woman - NEVER. It takes a REAL man to be able to walk away from a situation where physical punishment might happen.
I guess my whole point is this -- does your wife believe you when you tell her that it will never happen again? Do YOU believe it when you say that to her? Obviously you should be on your best behavior and win her trust back. Otherwise, you may be tempted to do so again if you fight again and then you're back to square one... most likely without a wife, because if she's smart, she'll leave and not look back.
Good luck to both of you.
Reply:I see a lot of good answers here, but just to throw in my 2 cents' worth...
Your education may help you get a good job, but I don't understand why you think it has anything to do with whether your wife's family should trust you.
You may be sincere in your apology, but you must realize that "I'm sorry and it will never happen again," is the oldest line in the book. That's what almost all abusers say later after they hit someone the first time...and the second time...and the twentieth time. That's why they are not going to believe you until they have good solid evidence to believe that it really was the one and only time.
Of course you're not giving them that evidence. Getting a DUI is not normal; it's evidence of a drinking problem that you don't seem to be doing anything about.
And finally...good grief...it's only been weeks! Try years!
What can be done: Get psychological help. Stop drinking (not a drop) because you can't handle alcohol. And be nice to your wife and be grateful for your second chance.
Reply:This is NOT about the type of degree you got in school %26amp; NO ONE CARES whether you are a dentist, a doctor or Tim Buck Two! you can be the richest man on earth for all I care. HITTING YOUR WIFE or any body for that matter is wrong %26amp; it's a sign of ABUSE.....DOMESTIC ABUSE, once, twice, no matter how many times you did it does not matter. The point is that you hit her. Bottom line is that: You are lucky she didn't call the cops on you after you hit her. I don't blame her family for not forgiving you on this. Your behavior is a bad sign. If you are as smart as you say you are with the books, then why aren't you smart enough to know that beating your wife is not only illegal but also makes you a MONSTER. She deserves to be with a man who will treat her with respect. You don't fall into that category "Mr. I'm a big shot dentist". Your no better than anyone else.
GO TO HELL!
Reply:Hi Jack, Perhaps time will tell however here are some points to consider:
*they might not want her to go back because you drink - and that you've hit her. The drinking part must stop. If you got help to stop, maybe that would really help.
*they may not see enough changed behavior over a period of time. They may not see that you have "repented."
*have you apologized to her family?
*spousal abuse comes in all colors and educated backgrounds. Sorry to say, but your degree does not make you immune to life's issues.
*unfortunately, statistics show that once a man hits a woman, it's likely to continue - esp with the combination of alcohol.
*Try therapy immediately without her then with her or a combo. Let her family know you are doing this.
I think you are going to get all kinds of strange answers to your question. Trust in God that you will find the right path for your life which I'm sure does not include abuse of alcohol or your wife.
Reply:Ultimately, this is between your wife and yourself, so it´s between you and her to solve this problem. Now, I don´t think they (the family) will trust you anytime soon. This is the kind of problem that only could be solved with time and patience. Maybe some councelling will help, to both you and your wife, sometimes it helps to get past the problems.
About her family, imagine you have a daughter and she has this husband who hits her, doesn´t matter if only once, wouldn´t you advice her to leave her? It´s logical.
The thing you did, you made it for a reason, it´s not normal to hit anyone, so get some counselling before it gets worse, specially if you get violent (even when you don´t hit anyone) if you drink. That could get you into more troubles.
Good luck, sincerely hope your problem solves promptly.
Reply:Rome not built in a day. U betrayed their trust before. They trust you to let you take care of their daughter/sister/family member but with a mistake, you spoilt the trust they built. Give them some time. If you working hard enough to make them believe in you again, sooner or later they will realise that you regret with what you did and you deserve a 2nd chance. But you must prepare yourself because it take time and hardwork from you side. Do not give up. It Is not just to proof to them only that you are not that bad but it is also for yourself. Proof to yourself that you are a real man, a man that know a mistake when he did one and will never repeat the same mistake, a real man that can take care of his woman not hurting them.
Reply:i have more of a problem with your attitude about "some uneducated schmuck" than the fact that you hit your girlfriend. Just because you have an education does not mean you you are intelligent. Don't put yourself on a pedestal. You hit your wife and also drove drunk? Sounds like you need help!
Reply:my first husband hit me....ONCE...he got drunk, just like you, cold ****** me for no real reason - I put him in jail and got divorced.
It doesn't matter if it was "only once" you still hit her - they don't ever HAVE to look past it - what you did was UNFORGIVEABLE in their opinion, and guess what - they are ENTITLED to have that opinion.
You would think someone with your education would have been smart enough to not get so drunk you lose your sense and would know to keep his hands to himself.
stop acting like you are the victim here - you are going to be apologizing for a long time, and then when she tells you to stop apologizing, you will have to start apologizing for apologizing.
that is IF she stays...you don't deserve her...
Reply:when you are really honest with your apology is when things will change you can say it write it a million times until you are real it wont work.seek help sir.
Reply:Well, unfortanately the damage has been done. I don't know if you have kids, I don't, but if you did how accepting would you be with a man hitting your daughter? The alcohol is affecting your life now in very negative ways. I don't know that anything can be done about it. You don't seem to be very happy if you have to keep drinking to get through life. I know being a doctor is very demanding, I work with them, but you really need to get some help before you even think of rebuilding the trust with her or her family. If you loved her really, you would be the one to leave for a while and get yourself straightened out just in the event you get violent again. You can't trust yourself really now can you? You are still drinking. You don't have as much control as you think. Go to A.A. before you destroy everything you've worked so hard for. Good luck.
Reply:Give it time %26amp; it'll settle down.
I'll bet that when you smacked her up, you were soused and were arguing. But arguing about what, your drinking?
My advise - STOP DRINKING!!!
And as to your degree(s), those don't mean a damned thing. I've met a LOT of uneducated schmucks who don't go hitting their wives, so how does having a doctorate make you better? I fail to see your logic.
Reply:I am assuming that you were drunk when you hit her.
Quit drinking
She is their little girl forever and they are worried for her safety. You broke a major trust and only time will heal that but until you quit drinking they wont trust you and why would you trust yourself? You lost control and now are unpredictable in their eyes.
Being a professional doesn't mean anything. Your actions speak louder than words. You got a DUI since then and that shows that you are not willing to admit that you have a problem. What is it going to take to prove that to you?
If I were in her shoes, you would never see me again but, if she is willing to give you a second chance you better make every effort to prove to her that she made the right choice. GET HELP!
I'm not trying to be a witch but if you truely want her family to get over this then you better give them a damn good reason to. If you keep drinking it is only a matter of time and she will leave for good.
You may find this book helpful:
Boundaries - When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Reply:You are not going to regain their trust or hers over night. Have you signed up and are you going to AAA. And secondly are you getting help for your anger management?
These are some things a person should be doing if they are serious about changing but it also has to be your choice, otherwise its worthless.
I think her family should be there for her, but I don't believe they should be encouraging her to leave you. I suspect this may be the first time you have hit her, but probably not the first time you have had a problem with drinking. Not knowing the whole of the situation, it's difficult to give a good answer.
But if you have a problem until you can get it under control it might be better for you and her if you separated for awhile until you can get a handle on it. Separation does not mean divorce, and since you are a professional, surely you can see where this may be beneficial for both of you. But I believe that if you go that course you move out, so she does not have to move in with her family and have them influence her decision; be responsible and help her financially especially if children are involved. And discuss this with her as you two need to work this out. Not you and her family. They can be supportive without influencing her and you can convey that to her. But if she is going to allow her family to make her decisions for her, then it will be VERY difficult for either of you to get past this.
But first you need to work on yourself and once you have that under control you both as a couple need to get some counseling.
Since you are a professional, you might consider going to another community for privacy. For your AAA, Anger Management and later counseling as a couple
Reply:Well, hitting your wife or husband, even once is one too many times. It shouldn't have happened. What her family wants is for her to be safe and at this point in time, and probably for some time to come they will feel that if you were able to do this once then you have it in you to do it again and so while ever she is with you, she won't be safe.
The difference between your wife forgiving you and her family not, is that your wife loves you. Her family can see past any love she has for you and can see that there is major problem there.
The fact that you have a doctorate will no more prevent you from hitting your wife again than it will stop you being the victim of a natural disaster. Why did you hit your wife? How can you know that if the reason you hit your wife that one time occurred again that you would not be inclined to do it again?
If you have an alcohol problem and particularly if it was one of the mitigating factors behind the situation of hitting your wife, then you need to stop drinking completely.
If you want her family to trust you, then you need to eliminate anything that could cause this to happen again. Trust is a long road once it is lost and the only thing that will get you to your destination is by showing true remorse and exhibiting behavior that shows that you are doing everything in your power to ensure such a thing never happens again.
It will take longer than a few short weeks to regain their trust and a lot more than a few words from you. Actions speak louder than words.
What you need to ask yourself is this. "If someone was to hit my daughter in a rage, how quickly would I jump to forgive them? Would I immediately trust that they would never do it again, just because they said they wouldn't?" Be honest with yourself. If my daughter was in a relationship and her husband hit her, I would probably be advising her to leave as well. I would be feeling very non trusting of her partner and it would take some pretty drastic changes to get me to forgive or trust them again, if that was at all possible.
Put yourself in their shoes and see what they are feeling. You can only show them that you can be trusted. You cannot tell them that you are.
I wish you luck and strength.
Reply:The reason your wife's family won't get over you hitting your wife is because....wait for it....you hit your wife.
They are obviously people who care about her well being and you went and caused her physical pain.
And you said it yourself...you are a professional educated person. Although spousal abuse happens across all social rankings, you should know better because you are so educated Mr. Doctorate.
Instead of saying "poor me, they are all so mean to me because I hit my wife one time," maybe you should just sit there and suck it up. Take the consequences like a man and try to earn their trust slowly. And trust me...it will be a VERY slow process. In the mean time you should think about what you did and if you would forgive someone so quickly if they beat the tar out of your sister or your mom.
Reply:what needs to be done is that you need to get into some therapy. feeling terrible is not enough. if you lost control and struck your wife once, there is a high probability that you could do it again.
what disturbs me is that you say "i have a doctorate, for crying out loud"...as if being educated is in some way a prerequisite for good behavior. you'd be surprised how many educated people are abusive toward their mates, women as well as men. you said you got a DUI after the incident. and you say that you got it after she came back. you still have a problem and you need to get the proper help to overcome it.
people who strike out in anger against others are out of control, immature, and lack the skills needed to deal with situations such as you came to be in. one should never hit another person, unless it is in self defense. if i may come to your defense for a moment, i don't know all the details of your situation. you didn't say that you had a fight with her and she hit you. that would make a slight difference. i come from the school of men should not hit women. however, i don't condone women hitting men. had that problem with the little girls in my neighborhood hitting my sons once upon a time. they came knocking on my door to tell me that my son hit them. i calmly told them that i don't believe boys should hit girls, but that if they kept hitting my sons, and my sons would do everything in their power to avoid hitting them back, they would get hit back. it's self defense. i don't think that a man who is being attacked by anyone should stand helplessly and let someone beat them upside the head.
at any rate, getting back to the assumption that your wife didn't hit you...i don't know what to tell you. i know of too many situations in which a man has hit his wife and then shows remorse, promising never to do it again, and then doing it again, apologizing, etc. i don't know if this would be the case with you. my biggest concern with you has to do with your putting yourself above so-called uneducated persons. i don't care how much education you have. obviously, somewhere down the road you missed something.
don't know what else to say except that it's going to take more than an apology and a promise never to hit again. you went out and got drunk and got behind the wheel of a car. you could have killed someone. does that sound like something that an educated person would do?
get yourself together or you may lose you wife and not learn anything in the process. i hope you look inward and humble yourself and recognize your shortcomings and get some help. come down off that high horse of yours before it's too late...i wish you all the best
Reply:Just because you're educated, doesn't mean that you're not abusive! Sounds like you weren't serious about treating her good, since you continue to drink. And just because you haven't hit her doesn't mean you treat her good. bet you are verbally abusive as well. IYou will never have a good relationship unless you get help for your drinking, she knows it and so do her parents.
Reply:You are arrogant and an abusive jerk...look buddy, you beat your wife....you have a lot of work ahead of you...but you don't care about her nor do you love her- so suffice it to say, you won't put much effort into restoring what little marriage you have left.
Let me ask- why did you hit her ?
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Wow...I'm of the belief that even one time is NEVER a "mistake"....we all have the ability to control our actions and our anger...and there's NEVER an excuse for hitting one's wife....NEVER. You say "only one time" like that's okay ? Like it justifies it ? Like it's not your fault ? Like she deserved it ? Let's see...I'm lower middle class schmuck...but I've NEVER laid a hand on my wife except to hug or hold her or in some other act of love...but you're still better than me because you have a doctorate for crying out loud ?!?!?!? I think you're a low-life wife beater who deserves to be in prison for assault....but I'm an uneducated schmuck without a doctorate...guess I can't make that assessment, huh ?
I don't blame her family for being mad- I would be too. I'd forgive, yes, but there's a much longer road of recovery after forgiveness takes place...you can't expect it over night- it could literally take years.
You need therapy for this and maybe...just maybe your wife will eventually see you are sincere (if you are) and start to trust you again.
I put spousal abuse right on par with adultery/an affair. It's a conscious act and it never "just happens". Wife beaters are one of the worst type of people there are...and if you did it once, you obviously have a problem- what's to say you won't do it again ?
Am I being harsh ? You bet I am- you deserve it....and you DON'T deserve your wife...you better start begging and pleading and hope that she'll give you another chance...you don't deserve it though, and she'd be totally justified to leave you. Do you have kids ? Do/would you hit them too ?
Anyway, I'm off my soap box...sorry, but this is a touchy subject with me...
I do hope you are truly sorry though- I have to at least give you props for admitting publicly that you made a big mistake- that's at least a step in the right direction...unless you're just feeling sorry for yourself, which will make you a bigger loser than you already are....beat the wife and blame her for it- typical of that mindset.
Where are you a dentist at ? Let us all know so we can be sure to avoid your practice.
Have a blessed weekend....and tell your wife the same :-)
Reply:trust isn't a gimme, it takes time.
Anger is dangerous if left uncontrolled.
Reply:I hope you learned from your mistake.
You can have any Ph.D, doctorate thing, whatever, as long as you don't have the right feelings, then school won't help for this.
Go with your wife and set up a family reunion. Be serious, tell everything you feel. And stop drinking too much. This can worse the situation. Best of luck, hope you learned and if you have honest feelings hope the family %26amp; wife sees that.
Reply:You did it wifebeater. Your loss. Don't hit your wife loser.
Reply:Wow, only "weeks ago" and you're shocked that you haven't earned their trust and respect back?
You screwed up. You need to prove to your wife and her family that you know you screwed up and that you're sorry you screwed up and that it won't happen again.
And that takes more than a few weeks. Trust is easily shattered, but hard to rebuild.
The fact that you still drink and have a DUI after she came back says, to me, that you haven't changed as much as you'd like some others to believe.
Reply:every man says it happened once and it will NEVER happen again, but you never truly know. im only 16 and i have been in 4 abusive relationships, they said sorry and they would never do it again after they did for the first time one sent me to the hospital and one almost put me in my grave so her family is just really pretective of her. you cant predit the future. try to stop drinking and maybe minds will change. good luck.
Reply:arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- can't imagine what their problem is.
Why don't you try looking at yourself instead of blaming everyone else and realize that when your little girl is with an arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- it may take more than a few weeks and words of apology to get past it.
Oh yeah and by the way no one cares about your stupid doctorate when your little girl is with an arrogant, abusive, drunk, criminal, that blames everyone else --- rather she was with an uneducated, caring, responsible, loving man.
What is wrong with you that you think that matters one iota in this situation.
Reply:Go get counseling for your alcohol abuse and domestic violence issues.
This usually isn't something that happens out of the blue once and never again. I would be willing to bet that there is a pattern of verbal and emotional abuse, and you are using your "doctorate professional" BS to make her feel stupid and wrong in comparison and control her.
Maybe after you take this seriously enough to admit you need help you can gradually regain her and her family's trust.
Weeks is not NEARLY long enough for them to just "get past this". You will be digging out of this hole for years to come, if you ever can. Best be ready to do some sincerely contrite groveling.
Reply:They love her. They don't hit her. Apologies are not enough. If you really mean it -- get some counseling. Go the extra mile and make the extra effort.
Your education and earning potential have NOTHING to do with having an abusive personality or a drinking problem.
Reply:We all learned in kindergarten not to hit each other are you getting therapy? are you still drinking? how long would it take you to trust someone again who betrayed you? You are an educated man of course oh and violence has no boundary's
Reply:It's because you are an educated schmuck who hits his wife for whatever reason. Doctorate or not if you hit my daughter the only place she'd see you three days later is the hospital or the funeral home. If the worst thing that happened to you is that your in-laws don't trust then I think you got off lucky.
Reply:Big deal that you have a doctorate....education doesn't come into play when you are talking about physical abuse....You hit your wife...and her family may or may not forgive you....There is NEVER any justification for hitting another....unless you are defending yourself....Perhaps you should seek treatment for your alcohol problem...which could be the ultimate reason for you bad choices...
Reply:I think you should make a public apology to her and her family while everyone is there, let them voice their opinions and concerns and stop drinking !
Reply:The reason that her family won't let this go is because you harmed their child (I'm assuming that her parents are the ones that are upset). Imagine how you'd feel if your daughter was married to someone that you really loved and then he hit her. Wouldn't that upset you? Wouldn't that make you mad? Would you forgive him for hitting her???
I agree with the other person who posted -- trust is something that is earned, not just given. Just because you have a doctorate doesn't make you any better than the drunk down the street that beats his wife daily.
What is important is that you get some help if you have an anger problem that is compounded by your drinking. It's never acceptable for a man to hit a woman - NEVER. It takes a REAL man to be able to walk away from a situation where physical punishment might happen.
I guess my whole point is this -- does your wife believe you when you tell her that it will never happen again? Do YOU believe it when you say that to her? Obviously you should be on your best behavior and win her trust back. Otherwise, you may be tempted to do so again if you fight again and then you're back to square one... most likely without a wife, because if she's smart, she'll leave and not look back.
Good luck to both of you.
Reply:I see a lot of good answers here, but just to throw in my 2 cents' worth...
Your education may help you get a good job, but I don't understand why you think it has anything to do with whether your wife's family should trust you.
You may be sincere in your apology, but you must realize that "I'm sorry and it will never happen again," is the oldest line in the book. That's what almost all abusers say later after they hit someone the first time...and the second time...and the twentieth time. That's why they are not going to believe you until they have good solid evidence to believe that it really was the one and only time.
Of course you're not giving them that evidence. Getting a DUI is not normal; it's evidence of a drinking problem that you don't seem to be doing anything about.
And finally...good grief...it's only been weeks! Try years!
What can be done: Get psychological help. Stop drinking (not a drop) because you can't handle alcohol. And be nice to your wife and be grateful for your second chance.
Reply:This is NOT about the type of degree you got in school %26amp; NO ONE CARES whether you are a dentist, a doctor or Tim Buck Two! you can be the richest man on earth for all I care. HITTING YOUR WIFE or any body for that matter is wrong %26amp; it's a sign of ABUSE.....DOMESTIC ABUSE, once, twice, no matter how many times you did it does not matter. The point is that you hit her. Bottom line is that: You are lucky she didn't call the cops on you after you hit her. I don't blame her family for not forgiving you on this. Your behavior is a bad sign. If you are as smart as you say you are with the books, then why aren't you smart enough to know that beating your wife is not only illegal but also makes you a MONSTER. She deserves to be with a man who will treat her with respect. You don't fall into that category "Mr. I'm a big shot dentist". Your no better than anyone else.
GO TO HELL!
Reply:Hi Jack, Perhaps time will tell however here are some points to consider:
*they might not want her to go back because you drink - and that you've hit her. The drinking part must stop. If you got help to stop, maybe that would really help.
*they may not see enough changed behavior over a period of time. They may not see that you have "repented."
*have you apologized to her family?
*spousal abuse comes in all colors and educated backgrounds. Sorry to say, but your degree does not make you immune to life's issues.
*unfortunately, statistics show that once a man hits a woman, it's likely to continue - esp with the combination of alcohol.
*Try therapy immediately without her then with her or a combo. Let her family know you are doing this.
I think you are going to get all kinds of strange answers to your question. Trust in God that you will find the right path for your life which I'm sure does not include abuse of alcohol or your wife.
Reply:Ultimately, this is between your wife and yourself, so it´s between you and her to solve this problem. Now, I don´t think they (the family) will trust you anytime soon. This is the kind of problem that only could be solved with time and patience. Maybe some councelling will help, to both you and your wife, sometimes it helps to get past the problems.
About her family, imagine you have a daughter and she has this husband who hits her, doesn´t matter if only once, wouldn´t you advice her to leave her? It´s logical.
The thing you did, you made it for a reason, it´s not normal to hit anyone, so get some counselling before it gets worse, specially if you get violent (even when you don´t hit anyone) if you drink. That could get you into more troubles.
Good luck, sincerely hope your problem solves promptly.
Reply:Rome not built in a day. U betrayed their trust before. They trust you to let you take care of their daughter/sister/family member but with a mistake, you spoilt the trust they built. Give them some time. If you working hard enough to make them believe in you again, sooner or later they will realise that you regret with what you did and you deserve a 2nd chance. But you must prepare yourself because it take time and hardwork from you side. Do not give up. It Is not just to proof to them only that you are not that bad but it is also for yourself. Proof to yourself that you are a real man, a man that know a mistake when he did one and will never repeat the same mistake, a real man that can take care of his woman not hurting them.
Reply:i have more of a problem with your attitude about "some uneducated schmuck" than the fact that you hit your girlfriend. Just because you have an education does not mean you you are intelligent. Don't put yourself on a pedestal. You hit your wife and also drove drunk? Sounds like you need help!
Reply:my first husband hit me....ONCE...he got drunk, just like you, cold ****** me for no real reason - I put him in jail and got divorced.
It doesn't matter if it was "only once" you still hit her - they don't ever HAVE to look past it - what you did was UNFORGIVEABLE in their opinion, and guess what - they are ENTITLED to have that opinion.
You would think someone with your education would have been smart enough to not get so drunk you lose your sense and would know to keep his hands to himself.
stop acting like you are the victim here - you are going to be apologizing for a long time, and then when she tells you to stop apologizing, you will have to start apologizing for apologizing.
that is IF she stays...you don't deserve her...
Reply:when you are really honest with your apology is when things will change you can say it write it a million times until you are real it wont work.seek help sir.
Reply:Well, unfortanately the damage has been done. I don't know if you have kids, I don't, but if you did how accepting would you be with a man hitting your daughter? The alcohol is affecting your life now in very negative ways. I don't know that anything can be done about it. You don't seem to be very happy if you have to keep drinking to get through life. I know being a doctor is very demanding, I work with them, but you really need to get some help before you even think of rebuilding the trust with her or her family. If you loved her really, you would be the one to leave for a while and get yourself straightened out just in the event you get violent again. You can't trust yourself really now can you? You are still drinking. You don't have as much control as you think. Go to A.A. before you destroy everything you've worked so hard for. Good luck.
Reply:Give it time %26amp; it'll settle down.
I'll bet that when you smacked her up, you were soused and were arguing. But arguing about what, your drinking?
My advise - STOP DRINKING!!!
And as to your degree(s), those don't mean a damned thing. I've met a LOT of uneducated schmucks who don't go hitting their wives, so how does having a doctorate make you better? I fail to see your logic.
Reply:I am assuming that you were drunk when you hit her.
Quit drinking
She is their little girl forever and they are worried for her safety. You broke a major trust and only time will heal that but until you quit drinking they wont trust you and why would you trust yourself? You lost control and now are unpredictable in their eyes.
Being a professional doesn't mean anything. Your actions speak louder than words. You got a DUI since then and that shows that you are not willing to admit that you have a problem. What is it going to take to prove that to you?
If I were in her shoes, you would never see me again but, if she is willing to give you a second chance you better make every effort to prove to her that she made the right choice. GET HELP!
I'm not trying to be a witch but if you truely want her family to get over this then you better give them a damn good reason to. If you keep drinking it is only a matter of time and she will leave for good.
You may find this book helpful:
Boundaries - When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Reply:You are not going to regain their trust or hers over night. Have you signed up and are you going to AAA. And secondly are you getting help for your anger management?
These are some things a person should be doing if they are serious about changing but it also has to be your choice, otherwise its worthless.
I think her family should be there for her, but I don't believe they should be encouraging her to leave you. I suspect this may be the first time you have hit her, but probably not the first time you have had a problem with drinking. Not knowing the whole of the situation, it's difficult to give a good answer.
But if you have a problem until you can get it under control it might be better for you and her if you separated for awhile until you can get a handle on it. Separation does not mean divorce, and since you are a professional, surely you can see where this may be beneficial for both of you. But I believe that if you go that course you move out, so she does not have to move in with her family and have them influence her decision; be responsible and help her financially especially if children are involved. And discuss this with her as you two need to work this out. Not you and her family. They can be supportive without influencing her and you can convey that to her. But if she is going to allow her family to make her decisions for her, then it will be VERY difficult for either of you to get past this.
But first you need to work on yourself and once you have that under control you both as a couple need to get some counseling.
Since you are a professional, you might consider going to another community for privacy. For your AAA, Anger Management and later counseling as a couple
Reply:Well, hitting your wife or husband, even once is one too many times. It shouldn't have happened. What her family wants is for her to be safe and at this point in time, and probably for some time to come they will feel that if you were able to do this once then you have it in you to do it again and so while ever she is with you, she won't be safe.
The difference between your wife forgiving you and her family not, is that your wife loves you. Her family can see past any love she has for you and can see that there is major problem there.
The fact that you have a doctorate will no more prevent you from hitting your wife again than it will stop you being the victim of a natural disaster. Why did you hit your wife? How can you know that if the reason you hit your wife that one time occurred again that you would not be inclined to do it again?
If you have an alcohol problem and particularly if it was one of the mitigating factors behind the situation of hitting your wife, then you need to stop drinking completely.
If you want her family to trust you, then you need to eliminate anything that could cause this to happen again. Trust is a long road once it is lost and the only thing that will get you to your destination is by showing true remorse and exhibiting behavior that shows that you are doing everything in your power to ensure such a thing never happens again.
It will take longer than a few short weeks to regain their trust and a lot more than a few words from you. Actions speak louder than words.
What you need to ask yourself is this. "If someone was to hit my daughter in a rage, how quickly would I jump to forgive them? Would I immediately trust that they would never do it again, just because they said they wouldn't?" Be honest with yourself. If my daughter was in a relationship and her husband hit her, I would probably be advising her to leave as well. I would be feeling very non trusting of her partner and it would take some pretty drastic changes to get me to forgive or trust them again, if that was at all possible.
Put yourself in their shoes and see what they are feeling. You can only show them that you can be trusted. You cannot tell them that you are.
I wish you luck and strength.
Reply:The reason your wife's family won't get over you hitting your wife is because....wait for it....you hit your wife.
They are obviously people who care about her well being and you went and caused her physical pain.
And you said it yourself...you are a professional educated person. Although spousal abuse happens across all social rankings, you should know better because you are so educated Mr. Doctorate.
Instead of saying "poor me, they are all so mean to me because I hit my wife one time," maybe you should just sit there and suck it up. Take the consequences like a man and try to earn their trust slowly. And trust me...it will be a VERY slow process. In the mean time you should think about what you did and if you would forgive someone so quickly if they beat the tar out of your sister or your mom.
Reply:what needs to be done is that you need to get into some therapy. feeling terrible is not enough. if you lost control and struck your wife once, there is a high probability that you could do it again.
what disturbs me is that you say "i have a doctorate, for crying out loud"...as if being educated is in some way a prerequisite for good behavior. you'd be surprised how many educated people are abusive toward their mates, women as well as men. you said you got a DUI after the incident. and you say that you got it after she came back. you still have a problem and you need to get the proper help to overcome it.
people who strike out in anger against others are out of control, immature, and lack the skills needed to deal with situations such as you came to be in. one should never hit another person, unless it is in self defense. if i may come to your defense for a moment, i don't know all the details of your situation. you didn't say that you had a fight with her and she hit you. that would make a slight difference. i come from the school of men should not hit women. however, i don't condone women hitting men. had that problem with the little girls in my neighborhood hitting my sons once upon a time. they came knocking on my door to tell me that my son hit them. i calmly told them that i don't believe boys should hit girls, but that if they kept hitting my sons, and my sons would do everything in their power to avoid hitting them back, they would get hit back. it's self defense. i don't think that a man who is being attacked by anyone should stand helplessly and let someone beat them upside the head.
at any rate, getting back to the assumption that your wife didn't hit you...i don't know what to tell you. i know of too many situations in which a man has hit his wife and then shows remorse, promising never to do it again, and then doing it again, apologizing, etc. i don't know if this would be the case with you. my biggest concern with you has to do with your putting yourself above so-called uneducated persons. i don't care how much education you have. obviously, somewhere down the road you missed something.
don't know what else to say except that it's going to take more than an apology and a promise never to hit again. you went out and got drunk and got behind the wheel of a car. you could have killed someone. does that sound like something that an educated person would do?
get yourself together or you may lose you wife and not learn anything in the process. i hope you look inward and humble yourself and recognize your shortcomings and get some help. come down off that high horse of yours before it's too late...i wish you all the best
Reply:Just because you're educated, doesn't mean that you're not abusive! Sounds like you weren't serious about treating her good, since you continue to drink. And just because you haven't hit her doesn't mean you treat her good. bet you are verbally abusive as well. IYou will never have a good relationship unless you get help for your drinking, she knows it and so do her parents.
Reply:You are arrogant and an abusive jerk...look buddy, you beat your wife....you have a lot of work ahead of you...but you don't care about her nor do you love her- so suffice it to say, you won't put much effort into restoring what little marriage you have left.
Let me ask- why did you hit her ?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Yes, I am a professional (dentist). Yes, I drink. Yes, I did hit my wife ONE TIME. Yes, I felt terrible. Yes, she left for 3 days and told her family. Yes, I pleaded for her to come back. Yes, I did get a DUI after she came back. No, I haven't hit her and I NEVER again will. Yes, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
I don't believe you are sorry for your actions at all, YOU ARE STILL BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR SELF MADE PROBLEMS!!!! and if you reread your own question you will see the only person your trying to convince with your apologetic b/s is yourself!! Stop digging the hole you made for yourself and Start filling it up, go to counseling ,AA, make amends to everything you did wrong and find out what is wrong with you!! no body is going to hold your hand and Make you walk this road, but if you start it on your own and make it your own then maybe they will walk with you, but you have to go first!! SO STOP kiddin yourself its not over it just started...YOU WILL HIT AGAIN UNLESS YOU GET PROFESSIONAL HELP!!! once you realize that maybe her fam will talk to you and yes you do owe them an explanation and apology! you might not have always been a "schmuck" but you are now!!
Reply:Why doesn't some people let dead dogs stay dead.
Apologize to her , go to a council meeting , then let your wife tell her parents to keep quite , it will pass over.
Reply:what you did was terrible, but you need to sit down with her and her family, and talk it out.
Reply:Jack, You seem to think that your level of education and profession exempt you from repercussions. You are experiencing the consequences of your actions. Only lots of time and a geniune change in attitude and behavior will influence her family's lack of trust in you. You appear to not understand that she doesn't owe you. She's free to find love with someone who will cherish her, someone who has the character and integrity to accept her and never consider hurting her and would protect her from every kind of harm. Instead you yourself harmed her....if you want her, you need to seriously recognize your problem and seek change.
Reply:You gotta understand the almost everyone sees a man hitting a woman as one of the dispicable things that could ever happen in life. Over a long time, the wounds should heal, but honestly, after a mistake of that magnitude, you have no choice but to suck it up, and let them take as much time as they need to get over it. Stay humble, and definately don't act like they're being jerks for not forgiving you sooner - that will just take you back to square one.
Reply:You need help....
you are stressed out about something, I don't know what....
it isn't going to go away on it's own....
drinking to excess, getting the DUI, hitting your wife....all of it tells me you need to see someone...anyone...doctor or therapist...whatever it takes....
your education and title have nothing to do with this.
i wish you much luck and hope you have the will to make an appointment with someone soon.....
Reply:Just because you have your doctorate doesn't mean you're perfect.
Your level of education doesn't determine if you'd hit a woman or not.
A bum of the street can be sweet as possible to a woman, where as the most intelligent person can be a total abuser. Or, it can be vice versa. It all depends on the person, not their education.
And do you like to brag about being a dentist? Reading from previous post of yours, you seem pretty full of yourself. And I am starting to think this isn't too real. All your post are bragging about hitting your wife, and being a dentist. You don't seem too intelligent for someone who supposedly has a 'doctorate'.
I wouldn't trust you with my teeth.
Reply:Jack, consequences aren't held behind our job titles. I work for a dentist and he seems very stressed out too. It's not easy handling the responsibilities you guys have. Lashing out on your wife to vent the frustration isn't the answer though. I agree with one of the responses here that you need to stay humble and allow her family time to heal from this. Make her understand how sorry you are because that is really all you can do at this point. True love will forgive and stay by your side. This doesn't mean take advantage of her and slap her around. Hopefully this has opened your eyes and helped you realize what not to do. I wish you the best.
Right on Precious H!
Reply:What does you having a doctorate have to do with anything? You think only uneducated men hit women?? Obviously, that's not true, DOCTOR. Domestic abuse and interfamilial violence aren't "class" issues. They have nothing to do with money or social status. There are many, many professional men who abuse their wives and children. There are many who kill them, too. For someone who is so educated, you are certainly narrow-minded.
You shouldn't be. You should see the truth because it's right in front of you: her family could give a sh!t about your doctorate because they know that has nothing to do with why you hit her or if you would again. If you drink, there is a chance you would hit her again. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and can impair logic and impulse control. As you know, Doctor. Her family obviously thinks so. They love her and want to protect her. I can understand that. They probably look at it as better safe than sorry. I understand what you are saying: it was a one-time thing and that was that. They should realize that. But the truth is, once that line has been crossed, even though you might be really remorseful, you canNOT guarantee that it will never happen again. You simply can't. You might think you can but you cannot. Once you've crossed that line, it gets easier and easier to cross it again, especially if you drink. You seem to think you DESERVE more consideration from her and her family because you are not like those other abusers. Let me tell you something: They ALL say that. They all say that they are not like other abusers. They sit there and watch "COPS" and say what scumbags those guys are and never seem to realize they are the same. You are proof of that. A guy who gets drunk and hits his woman. Where's the difference?
And by the way, you aren't one of those uneducated schmucks who hits women for the fun of it? Then what are you? An educated schmuck who hits women when he's drunk? When he's angry? No, you're one of those educated schmucks who drives down the road drunk, putting everyone's lives in danger. You need to let go of your class biases, Doctor. From what I can see there is no difference between a dentist who gets drunk and hits his wife and a carpenter who gets drunk and hits his wife. No difference at all. The fact that you think there is one speaks of the kind of person you really are. But you need to let it go; the high horse you are trying to ride is a broken-down old nag.
Reply:look man they will never forgive u.i know man it's not what u wanted to here but they wont forgive u b/c it's there baby girl so if she has forgiven u then just let it go.
Reply:When it comes to this sort of thing, having a doctorate doesn't mean jack, Jack! An apology is only the first step in making this right. It will take time. Think of this: if you had/have a kid, a girl, and you found her boyfriend hit her, would you react any differently? Would you invite him in and say, "Oh, no biggie, just don't do it again. Now let's all chill and watch some football" (or whatever you like to do)- yeah, I don't think you'd be doing that. I think maybe seeing a therapist, at least for a little while, could be helpful, since you obviously aren't perfect and having some issues with drinking/temper. Doesn't mean your a bad person- your only human and having some issues, everyone has their problems at one time or another. I believe that would make her family start to regain their trust and faith in you if they see you making a big effort. It will show them how sorry you really are and that you care enough to make sure it doesnt happen again.
Reply:well, if she took you back and wants to make it work, stay away from her family and that's their problem if they dont like you...just be happy now that you have your wife back.
Reply:Many people, professional and otherwise, feel that a man who hits a woman is an incurable creep who barely is fit to live, let alone be forgiven. I am willing to bet that if you continue drinking alcohol to the point of intoxication, you will do it again. And you might do it again even if you quit drinking totally. Lashing out like that is the nearly inevitable reaction to one's feelings of weakness and powerlessness. I had to get really old to admit this tendency in myself and still occasionally have to fight that demon. Don't kid yourself, it's probably still with you, and always will be.
Reply:Trust and respect have to be built up again, both between you and your wife and between you and her family. This will take a lot of time. A couple of weeks is not going to do it, it might take months and even years. If you are truly very sorry about what you did, then one thing you're going to have to do is accept the consequences for your actions. One of these consequences is a loss of trust and respect for you. It's one thing to tell everyone that you'll never do it again, but it's something else entirely to SHOW them. Anyone can just say they're never going to hit their wife again. What you need to do is PROVE that you have reformed, and that you're never going to hit her again. You prove this by sticking around and being a nice guy for a long time. Going to counseling or anger management classes might be a good start.
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
I don't believe you are sorry for your actions at all, YOU ARE STILL BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR SELF MADE PROBLEMS!!!! and if you reread your own question you will see the only person your trying to convince with your apologetic b/s is yourself!! Stop digging the hole you made for yourself and Start filling it up, go to counseling ,AA, make amends to everything you did wrong and find out what is wrong with you!! no body is going to hold your hand and Make you walk this road, but if you start it on your own and make it your own then maybe they will walk with you, but you have to go first!! SO STOP kiddin yourself its not over it just started...YOU WILL HIT AGAIN UNLESS YOU GET PROFESSIONAL HELP!!! once you realize that maybe her fam will talk to you and yes you do owe them an explanation and apology! you might not have always been a "schmuck" but you are now!!
Reply:Why doesn't some people let dead dogs stay dead.
Apologize to her , go to a council meeting , then let your wife tell her parents to keep quite , it will pass over.
Reply:what you did was terrible, but you need to sit down with her and her family, and talk it out.
Reply:Jack, You seem to think that your level of education and profession exempt you from repercussions. You are experiencing the consequences of your actions. Only lots of time and a geniune change in attitude and behavior will influence her family's lack of trust in you. You appear to not understand that she doesn't owe you. She's free to find love with someone who will cherish her, someone who has the character and integrity to accept her and never consider hurting her and would protect her from every kind of harm. Instead you yourself harmed her....if you want her, you need to seriously recognize your problem and seek change.
Reply:You gotta understand the almost everyone sees a man hitting a woman as one of the dispicable things that could ever happen in life. Over a long time, the wounds should heal, but honestly, after a mistake of that magnitude, you have no choice but to suck it up, and let them take as much time as they need to get over it. Stay humble, and definately don't act like they're being jerks for not forgiving you sooner - that will just take you back to square one.
Reply:You need help....
you are stressed out about something, I don't know what....
it isn't going to go away on it's own....
drinking to excess, getting the DUI, hitting your wife....all of it tells me you need to see someone...anyone...doctor or therapist...whatever it takes....
your education and title have nothing to do with this.
i wish you much luck and hope you have the will to make an appointment with someone soon.....
Reply:Just because you have your doctorate doesn't mean you're perfect.
Your level of education doesn't determine if you'd hit a woman or not.
A bum of the street can be sweet as possible to a woman, where as the most intelligent person can be a total abuser. Or, it can be vice versa. It all depends on the person, not their education.
And do you like to brag about being a dentist? Reading from previous post of yours, you seem pretty full of yourself. And I am starting to think this isn't too real. All your post are bragging about hitting your wife, and being a dentist. You don't seem too intelligent for someone who supposedly has a 'doctorate'.
I wouldn't trust you with my teeth.
Reply:Jack, consequences aren't held behind our job titles. I work for a dentist and he seems very stressed out too. It's not easy handling the responsibilities you guys have. Lashing out on your wife to vent the frustration isn't the answer though. I agree with one of the responses here that you need to stay humble and allow her family time to heal from this. Make her understand how sorry you are because that is really all you can do at this point. True love will forgive and stay by your side. This doesn't mean take advantage of her and slap her around. Hopefully this has opened your eyes and helped you realize what not to do. I wish you the best.
Right on Precious H!
Reply:What does you having a doctorate have to do with anything? You think only uneducated men hit women?? Obviously, that's not true, DOCTOR. Domestic abuse and interfamilial violence aren't "class" issues. They have nothing to do with money or social status. There are many, many professional men who abuse their wives and children. There are many who kill them, too. For someone who is so educated, you are certainly narrow-minded.
You shouldn't be. You should see the truth because it's right in front of you: her family could give a sh!t about your doctorate because they know that has nothing to do with why you hit her or if you would again. If you drink, there is a chance you would hit her again. Alcohol lowers inhibitions and can impair logic and impulse control. As you know, Doctor. Her family obviously thinks so. They love her and want to protect her. I can understand that. They probably look at it as better safe than sorry. I understand what you are saying: it was a one-time thing and that was that. They should realize that. But the truth is, once that line has been crossed, even though you might be really remorseful, you canNOT guarantee that it will never happen again. You simply can't. You might think you can but you cannot. Once you've crossed that line, it gets easier and easier to cross it again, especially if you drink. You seem to think you DESERVE more consideration from her and her family because you are not like those other abusers. Let me tell you something: They ALL say that. They all say that they are not like other abusers. They sit there and watch "COPS" and say what scumbags those guys are and never seem to realize they are the same. You are proof of that. A guy who gets drunk and hits his woman. Where's the difference?
And by the way, you aren't one of those uneducated schmucks who hits women for the fun of it? Then what are you? An educated schmuck who hits women when he's drunk? When he's angry? No, you're one of those educated schmucks who drives down the road drunk, putting everyone's lives in danger. You need to let go of your class biases, Doctor. From what I can see there is no difference between a dentist who gets drunk and hits his wife and a carpenter who gets drunk and hits his wife. No difference at all. The fact that you think there is one speaks of the kind of person you really are. But you need to let it go; the high horse you are trying to ride is a broken-down old nag.
Reply:look man they will never forgive u.i know man it's not what u wanted to here but they wont forgive u b/c it's there baby girl so if she has forgiven u then just let it go.
Reply:When it comes to this sort of thing, having a doctorate doesn't mean jack, Jack! An apology is only the first step in making this right. It will take time. Think of this: if you had/have a kid, a girl, and you found her boyfriend hit her, would you react any differently? Would you invite him in and say, "Oh, no biggie, just don't do it again. Now let's all chill and watch some football" (or whatever you like to do)- yeah, I don't think you'd be doing that. I think maybe seeing a therapist, at least for a little while, could be helpful, since you obviously aren't perfect and having some issues with drinking/temper. Doesn't mean your a bad person- your only human and having some issues, everyone has their problems at one time or another. I believe that would make her family start to regain their trust and faith in you if they see you making a big effort. It will show them how sorry you really are and that you care enough to make sure it doesnt happen again.
Reply:well, if she took you back and wants to make it work, stay away from her family and that's their problem if they dont like you...just be happy now that you have your wife back.
Reply:Many people, professional and otherwise, feel that a man who hits a woman is an incurable creep who barely is fit to live, let alone be forgiven. I am willing to bet that if you continue drinking alcohol to the point of intoxication, you will do it again. And you might do it again even if you quit drinking totally. Lashing out like that is the nearly inevitable reaction to one's feelings of weakness and powerlessness. I had to get really old to admit this tendency in myself and still occasionally have to fight that demon. Don't kid yourself, it's probably still with you, and always will be.
Reply:Trust and respect have to be built up again, both between you and your wife and between you and her family. This will take a lot of time. A couple of weeks is not going to do it, it might take months and even years. If you are truly very sorry about what you did, then one thing you're going to have to do is accept the consequences for your actions. One of these consequences is a loss of trust and respect for you. It's one thing to tell everyone that you'll never do it again, but it's something else entirely to SHOW them. Anyone can just say they're never going to hit their wife again. What you need to do is PROVE that you have reformed, and that you're never going to hit her again. You prove this by sticking around and being a nice guy for a long time. Going to counseling or anger management classes might be a good start.
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Yes, I am a professional (dentist). Yes, I drink. Yes, I did hit my wife ONE TIME. Yes, I felt terrible. Yes, she left for 3 days and told her family. Yes, I pleaded for her to come back. Yes, I did get a DUI after she came back. No, I haven't hit her and I NEVER again will. Yes, it was the biggest mistake of my life.
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Once was one time too many...
Reply:I would kick your *** real good first and then forgive you.
Reply:Do all you can to make it up to your wife. What she thinks of you is more important than what anybody else thinks.
Edit: Thumbed down for preaching reconciliation? It's a strange world...
A virtual lynching is in progess here...
Reply:your drinking is the root of the problem. once you start to deal with that, then you can move forward. your doctorate does not exempt you from alcoholism.
Reply:well maybe it's because your an alcoholic, abusive, classist, jerk... but that's just my guess given the only information that I have is what you wrote here...
Reply:They shouldn't see passed it and neither should your wife. She should have stayed gone. You've obviously got alcohol problems and should seek treatment.
Reply:Your education doesn't matter....imagine someone hitting hour daughter, sister, etc...you'd have trouble forgiving/forgetting, too.
The only thing you can do is stick to it for the long-term...own what you did, and live the "It won't happen again" attitude you have here...giving up one of the things that you think might have contributed might help show them you are serious...
Reply:i can't really offer you anything other than this:
her family has the right to be afraid for your wife. the only way you will gain their trust is to prove, over years, that you will not hit her again.
and your education doesn't matter. it means nothing. your ability to control yourself isn't higher because you have a doctorate.
i suggest AA for you, Al-Anon for your wife, and time for her family.
Reply:All you can hope for is that, in time they will forgive you. Don't expect forgiveness within a week. You should promise them you will NEVER drink again, and if you don't want to - you shouldn't be wondering why you haven't been forgiven yet.
Reply:You F@#$%%26amp; up and deserve to be punished for it. you have lost all credibility. your doctorate doesn't mean you're not a douchebag. you are human and make mistakes ,you feel bad about that and that is rightly so,
You have to do damn well in order to make right . have funn douchebag
Reply:Because it ALWAYS happens again. It's NEVER just one time!
Reply:The only way you'll learn from this is for her to divorce you and for you to find another woman. I'm with the parents on this one.
Reply:my husband hit me once too, and it is hard to get past- and the fear of it happening again is hard. But you do sound sincere so I guess that is something that will take time - how long has it been? Trust needs to be rebuilt, and that takes a while. Also, I would gently advise that you stop drinking - not only for your family's sake, your wife's ability to trust you again, but also for your health. take care.
Reply:It's interesting that you are using your job and education as an excuse, as if what you did would be worse if you were uneducated.
I feel bad for the situation you are in, but in reality I cannot say I blame her family... even though it was only once, hitting a woman (or a child for that matter) is something that, to most people, is about as bad as it gets.
Reply:Weeks ago? Wow, you are reformed, I would trust you with my daughters.... NOT. And gee wiz, you've made your apologies, that changes things... NOT
Get anger management, couples counciling, and stop drinking...Man up. you sound like a whinny assed *****
I thought for a second that I was being too harsh, but then I read Justin's answer and decided that I am not being harsh enough, I second What Justin Said...
But let me take it all back if she stabbed you before you hit her, or if she kicked you in the balls BEFORE you hit her..
Reply:You are branded for life. Welcome to the club.
Reply:Maybe you are too egotistical for them?
Reply:Having a doctoroate has nothing to do with the situation. You hit your wife in a fit of rage. Whose to say you wont do it again. They are probably basing this off the fact that most men who hit there wives/gilfriends plead for them to come back and promise to never hit her again, and then they do. Whose to say that you two will never fight again, what if the next fight is a bigger,badder, and more emotional than the one that led you to hit her? What if she begins hitting you? Do you have enough self control to not hit her back? These are the questions going through their minds right now. Her family is her support system and will probably never see past this, they are concerned for her safety which is why their encouraging her to leave you.
Reply:You are lucky you are not married to my daughter. I guess I should have said that you are really lucky you are not married to my daughter.
Reply:Open your eyes.
"One time" actually means "the first time".
Her family knows this; everyone here knows this; if your wife is honest with herself, then she knows it too.
Stop fooling yourself. If she decides to leave, stand still and let her go without a fight. Don't drag her down with you.
Reply:Let's not confuse your profession with your actions; they have nothing to do with each other. I'm sure there are lots of "uneducated schmucks on the street" that exercise self control. For an 'educated person' you make pretty uneducated remarks about people.
Go sign up for some self help course; that as a first step would show your wife and her family that you are indeed trying to change your ways.
Talk is cheap and actions speak more than words.
Perhaps consider laying off the booze too.
Good luck
Reply:Nobody hits their wife just once. They do it again, and say they're sorry again, and it blows hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. I cannot endorse violence but if I was your brother in law I would probably beat the crap out of your head with the lid of a trash can like James Caan in the Godfather. You say it happened weeks ago. It's going to take at least ten years for her family to get past this, if ever. And what's having a doctorate got to do with it? Josef Mengele and Harold Shipman had doctorates as well.
You're going to hit your wife again one day and then later you'll hit her again, until she leaves you, and then you'll hit another woman instead. I know your type back to front. The only other option is to give up on the relationship, accept that you're a despicable thug, and then either get counselling or kill yourself.
Reply:that is hard but as long as you wife forgives you and that you mean what you say, that is what is important
as a child my stepfather pushed my mother once and she threw a 9 inch cast iron pan at him across a large table, it was air born and hit him, and yes he was drunk and even drunk after that he never ever tried that again, and yes he was every sorry in more than one way. However my sister was 7 and it was not until she was an adult that she forgave him for that night, memories are a hard thing to fight, oh and i forgave him when my mother did later that night.
Reply:First off, actions speak louder than words....your "smart" you should know this. Get yourself into therapy....get yourself into AA....get you and your wife into marriage counseling. Start physically showing how sorry you are instead of bitching and moaning about her family that is worried about her safety. Have you DONE anything to change your ways since she has come back? If not, get going!!
Reply:Hi,
It sounds to me as your drinking is causing you problems. Education has nothing to do with this situation. An apology is not a cure. Statistics show that if you did it once you will do it again. There is a way for you which involves a tremendous amount of self introspection. Diagnose the problem, seek treatment and heal thyself first. I hear you crying out loud.
Reply:don't never say never,and go get help with your temper.and you alcohol problem before you really do loose your wife if you really love her you will make changes in your life so the both of you can get on with your lives together.
Reply:It is such a deep violation of trust when a man, who is stronger hits his wife. It is very hard for her or her loved ones to trust you again because statistically, most abusers don't just do it once.
Your education didn't stop you from using an uneducated approach to solving a problem did it? Do you still drink? If so, what makes you think you can promise how you will behave under the influence? Addictions spiral downwards unless you get sober AND into recovery.
I do think it is possible for someone to stop hitting if he/she gets help and HUMBLY admits their need for this help. If this person gets a sponsor, works all steps of the program, THEN I would be very likely to believe he could stop......
BUT THE REALITY IS THAT I WOULD STILL CRINGE WHEN YOU CLENCHED YOUR FISTS IN AN ARGUMENT!
Being HIT is very humiliating, de-humanizing and very damaging. You did this to a person who is smaller than you.
BY THE WAY: I would say the same thing to a woman who hit her spouse, the exact same things!!!!!
Reply:Just because you have a doctorate doesn't make you an amazing person and it doesn't make your choices right. Its a piece of paper. .so what's more important, that piece of paper or your morals by which you live your life?
Clearly, if you want to show to her and her family that you are changing then maybe you should start by stopping the drinking. That's not helping anything. Neither is the DUI charge. If you're looking for self motivation, start by looking in the mirror.
You said, "I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it." Well, clearly, from their point of view, that's what you act like. Prove to them that you can straighten up and act like an adult.
Honestly, that's about all you can do. Try to rebuild burnt bridges because it all comes down to your wife's decision and her family's influence. Mistakes suck -- Mainly because sometimes it only takes one to screw up everything.
Reply:You think having a doctorate makes a difference in a situation like this? Please, I'd love for you to explain to me why.
ONE TIME usually turns into a cycle of violence. Her family is trying to protect her. Most men don't hit women just "for the fun of it". If you are so educated, you should realize that.
Reply:I have to agree. Your education doesn't matter in this case.
It does sound like you're trying to make amends. Keep at it, and get whatever help you need to quit drinking, if that was a factor in the incident. It will probably take a helluva lot longer than a few weeks for them to trust you again.
If you are serious about making amends, put down the bottle and get help. That would make it clear more than anything, I think, that you are willing to do everything in your power to prevent it from ever happening again.
Reply:Hi Jack
Do you think you might try *not* drinking? It sounds like you have a little problem in that area. If you are drinking a fair amount, and if you tend to get short-tempered when you drink, then she and her family might be justified in their concern.
It's always easy to promise not to do it again, but it can be very difficult to regain the trust that you have violated. There will not be any 'quick fix', just a long and tender restitution.
I hope this helps.
Dave
Makeup
I have made my apologies... why won't her family see past this. I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it. I don't know what more I can do. They are no longer trusting of me at all and they encourage my wife to leave me still. This was weeks ago. What can be done?
Why won't her family get past me hitting my wife... ONE TIME?
Once was one time too many...
Reply:I would kick your *** real good first and then forgive you.
Reply:Do all you can to make it up to your wife. What she thinks of you is more important than what anybody else thinks.
Edit: Thumbed down for preaching reconciliation? It's a strange world...
A virtual lynching is in progess here...
Reply:your drinking is the root of the problem. once you start to deal with that, then you can move forward. your doctorate does not exempt you from alcoholism.
Reply:well maybe it's because your an alcoholic, abusive, classist, jerk... but that's just my guess given the only information that I have is what you wrote here...
Reply:They shouldn't see passed it and neither should your wife. She should have stayed gone. You've obviously got alcohol problems and should seek treatment.
Reply:Your education doesn't matter....imagine someone hitting hour daughter, sister, etc...you'd have trouble forgiving/forgetting, too.
The only thing you can do is stick to it for the long-term...own what you did, and live the "It won't happen again" attitude you have here...giving up one of the things that you think might have contributed might help show them you are serious...
Reply:i can't really offer you anything other than this:
her family has the right to be afraid for your wife. the only way you will gain their trust is to prove, over years, that you will not hit her again.
and your education doesn't matter. it means nothing. your ability to control yourself isn't higher because you have a doctorate.
i suggest AA for you, Al-Anon for your wife, and time for her family.
Reply:All you can hope for is that, in time they will forgive you. Don't expect forgiveness within a week. You should promise them you will NEVER drink again, and if you don't want to - you shouldn't be wondering why you haven't been forgiven yet.
Reply:You F@#$%%26amp; up and deserve to be punished for it. you have lost all credibility. your doctorate doesn't mean you're not a douchebag. you are human and make mistakes ,you feel bad about that and that is rightly so,
You have to do damn well in order to make right . have funn douchebag
Reply:Because it ALWAYS happens again. It's NEVER just one time!
Reply:The only way you'll learn from this is for her to divorce you and for you to find another woman. I'm with the parents on this one.
Reply:my husband hit me once too, and it is hard to get past- and the fear of it happening again is hard. But you do sound sincere so I guess that is something that will take time - how long has it been? Trust needs to be rebuilt, and that takes a while. Also, I would gently advise that you stop drinking - not only for your family's sake, your wife's ability to trust you again, but also for your health. take care.
Reply:It's interesting that you are using your job and education as an excuse, as if what you did would be worse if you were uneducated.
I feel bad for the situation you are in, but in reality I cannot say I blame her family... even though it was only once, hitting a woman (or a child for that matter) is something that, to most people, is about as bad as it gets.
Reply:Weeks ago? Wow, you are reformed, I would trust you with my daughters.... NOT. And gee wiz, you've made your apologies, that changes things... NOT
Get anger management, couples counciling, and stop drinking...Man up. you sound like a whinny assed *****
I thought for a second that I was being too harsh, but then I read Justin's answer and decided that I am not being harsh enough, I second What Justin Said...
But let me take it all back if she stabbed you before you hit her, or if she kicked you in the balls BEFORE you hit her..
Reply:You are branded for life. Welcome to the club.
Reply:Maybe you are too egotistical for them?
Reply:Having a doctoroate has nothing to do with the situation. You hit your wife in a fit of rage. Whose to say you wont do it again. They are probably basing this off the fact that most men who hit there wives/gilfriends plead for them to come back and promise to never hit her again, and then they do. Whose to say that you two will never fight again, what if the next fight is a bigger,badder, and more emotional than the one that led you to hit her? What if she begins hitting you? Do you have enough self control to not hit her back? These are the questions going through their minds right now. Her family is her support system and will probably never see past this, they are concerned for her safety which is why their encouraging her to leave you.
Reply:You are lucky you are not married to my daughter. I guess I should have said that you are really lucky you are not married to my daughter.
Reply:Open your eyes.
"One time" actually means "the first time".
Her family knows this; everyone here knows this; if your wife is honest with herself, then she knows it too.
Stop fooling yourself. If she decides to leave, stand still and let her go without a fight. Don't drag her down with you.
Reply:Let's not confuse your profession with your actions; they have nothing to do with each other. I'm sure there are lots of "uneducated schmucks on the street" that exercise self control. For an 'educated person' you make pretty uneducated remarks about people.
Go sign up for some self help course; that as a first step would show your wife and her family that you are indeed trying to change your ways.
Talk is cheap and actions speak more than words.
Perhaps consider laying off the booze too.
Good luck
Reply:Nobody hits their wife just once. They do it again, and say they're sorry again, and it blows hot, then cold, then hot, then cold. I cannot endorse violence but if I was your brother in law I would probably beat the crap out of your head with the lid of a trash can like James Caan in the Godfather. You say it happened weeks ago. It's going to take at least ten years for her family to get past this, if ever. And what's having a doctorate got to do with it? Josef Mengele and Harold Shipman had doctorates as well.
You're going to hit your wife again one day and then later you'll hit her again, until she leaves you, and then you'll hit another woman instead. I know your type back to front. The only other option is to give up on the relationship, accept that you're a despicable thug, and then either get counselling or kill yourself.
Reply:that is hard but as long as you wife forgives you and that you mean what you say, that is what is important
as a child my stepfather pushed my mother once and she threw a 9 inch cast iron pan at him across a large table, it was air born and hit him, and yes he was drunk and even drunk after that he never ever tried that again, and yes he was every sorry in more than one way. However my sister was 7 and it was not until she was an adult that she forgave him for that night, memories are a hard thing to fight, oh and i forgave him when my mother did later that night.
Reply:First off, actions speak louder than words....your "smart" you should know this. Get yourself into therapy....get yourself into AA....get you and your wife into marriage counseling. Start physically showing how sorry you are instead of bitching and moaning about her family that is worried about her safety. Have you DONE anything to change your ways since she has come back? If not, get going!!
Reply:Hi,
It sounds to me as your drinking is causing you problems. Education has nothing to do with this situation. An apology is not a cure. Statistics show that if you did it once you will do it again. There is a way for you which involves a tremendous amount of self introspection. Diagnose the problem, seek treatment and heal thyself first. I hear you crying out loud.
Reply:don't never say never,and go get help with your temper.and you alcohol problem before you really do loose your wife if you really love her you will make changes in your life so the both of you can get on with your lives together.
Reply:It is such a deep violation of trust when a man, who is stronger hits his wife. It is very hard for her or her loved ones to trust you again because statistically, most abusers don't just do it once.
Your education didn't stop you from using an uneducated approach to solving a problem did it? Do you still drink? If so, what makes you think you can promise how you will behave under the influence? Addictions spiral downwards unless you get sober AND into recovery.
I do think it is possible for someone to stop hitting if he/she gets help and HUMBLY admits their need for this help. If this person gets a sponsor, works all steps of the program, THEN I would be very likely to believe he could stop......
BUT THE REALITY IS THAT I WOULD STILL CRINGE WHEN YOU CLENCHED YOUR FISTS IN AN ARGUMENT!
Being HIT is very humiliating, de-humanizing and very damaging. You did this to a person who is smaller than you.
BY THE WAY: I would say the same thing to a woman who hit her spouse, the exact same things!!!!!
Reply:Just because you have a doctorate doesn't make you an amazing person and it doesn't make your choices right. Its a piece of paper. .so what's more important, that piece of paper or your morals by which you live your life?
Clearly, if you want to show to her and her family that you are changing then maybe you should start by stopping the drinking. That's not helping anything. Neither is the DUI charge. If you're looking for self motivation, start by looking in the mirror.
You said, "I have a doctorate for crying out loud. I'm not some uneducated schmuck on the street who hits women for the fun of it." Well, clearly, from their point of view, that's what you act like. Prove to them that you can straighten up and act like an adult.
Honestly, that's about all you can do. Try to rebuild burnt bridges because it all comes down to your wife's decision and her family's influence. Mistakes suck -- Mainly because sometimes it only takes one to screw up everything.
Reply:You think having a doctorate makes a difference in a situation like this? Please, I'd love for you to explain to me why.
ONE TIME usually turns into a cycle of violence. Her family is trying to protect her. Most men don't hit women just "for the fun of it". If you are so educated, you should realize that.
Reply:I have to agree. Your education doesn't matter in this case.
It does sound like you're trying to make amends. Keep at it, and get whatever help you need to quit drinking, if that was a factor in the incident. It will probably take a helluva lot longer than a few weeks for them to trust you again.
If you are serious about making amends, put down the bottle and get help. That would make it clear more than anything, I think, that you are willing to do everything in your power to prevent it from ever happening again.
Reply:Hi Jack
Do you think you might try *not* drinking? It sounds like you have a little problem in that area. If you are drinking a fair amount, and if you tend to get short-tempered when you drink, then she and her family might be justified in their concern.
It's always easy to promise not to do it again, but it can be very difficult to regain the trust that you have violated. There will not be any 'quick fix', just a long and tender restitution.
I hope this helps.
Dave
Makeup
My friends and family don't respect fiance's career?
My fiance Bruce and I plan on being married over the 4th of July weekend.We've been dating for 2 years and to me is beyond great. All my parents think that he's a loser and has no motivation.My father is a dentist,my mother is a pharmacist and I just got my PHD in chemistry and have been teaching at the university the past 2 semesters.We all are highly educated,all been to grad school,as have everyone else in my immediate family(sisters a pediatrition.)All our family friends are also college educated,doctors and lawyers.My fiance is a mechanic.Actually a master mechanic,but he only has a degree from a tech school.He is a hard worker and makes great money as the lead mechanic at the ford dealership,plus he works some side jobs on weekends for our "fun money" as he calls it.He also goes back to school every year for refresher classes,to keep him up to date on new cars.he is so good to me and I want my family to accept him,but they refuse to even come to the wedding.What can I do?
My friends and family don't respect fiance's career?
You can tell them they will see you the next time they come and visit you and your husband.
Reply:All that matters is that u accept it. U are the one who has to live w/ him not them so if they don't accept it then who cares!
Reply:your whole family is pretty shallow. he loves to do what he loves to do. i'd hate to be a doctor or pharmacists or one of those rats.
Reply:You live your life for yourself, not for your family. I know how that feels. My dad is the same way (looks down at people who works in trades). I would say your family will eventually come around. Your happiness is more important than what they like to push you to believe.
Reply:Let them refuse, then. A marriage is about "us against the world," so ignore them and if they don't come then they can get over it, but I wouldn't fret too much because you deserve people and family who will accept you for who you are. If you are the leas tbit unhappy with your relationship, I could see where they are coming from, but if not, just be happy and stick to it!! Your family cannot control your life!! =D Good luck!
Reply:Nothing. Your parents should accept him the way he is. What he does is a very skilled talent, and although much different than yours or your families, it doesn't make him less of a man. It's what he does and he's good at it. There is nothing you can do to change that and your family should respect him simply because you love him. What is it they really want for you, money or happiness?
Reply:wow tough one there
you come from a family of Phds and what not
and you set your sight low on a mechanic ( who works at a FORD dealership no less... next time aim for a Toyota, they are number one in the USA )
i will tend to agree with your parents
though not going to the wedding is a bad call on their part
most college educated end up marrying likewise
so how you went blue collar on them is anyones guess
there is a high chance you will end up divorce
dues to the financial and educational differences
so do not plan on having children
i am just warning you
there is a classic saying for people
water seeks it's own level
you did not
Reply:What matters is if he is a good guy and truly cares about you.
Reply:You %26amp; your family may be highly educated, but not entirely educated on life itself. They sound very pompous to me %26amp; irritating. My fiance's dream is to rebuild cars %26amp; I totally support it. There is a huge amount of money in that. Maybe they will feel better when he's made a 50K profit on a car. Total BS in my opinion. If they don't support you now, they never will.
Reply:It seems to me that you are happy and to me that's all that matters .....your parents have lived there life now you go out and live yours.....Mechanics ....do make good money the certified ones ..I actually know a doctor and her husband is a mechanic .............enjoy your life and be happy ....you found love some people can't even find that .......
Reply:Your the one who thinks hes wonderful....and he makes great money. You are the one marrying him, not your parents. I know you want your family at your wedding but if they are going to be assholes about it, I wouldn't want them there anyways.
He loves you, he is good to you, and he wants to spend the rest of his LIFE with you making you happy...that is what is important. Not what your job is.
If my parents were pissed off at what my husband does for a living, and refused to accept him, well too bad for you. I am incredibly happy.
Your family needs to grow some new brains and realize that all of this will tear the family apart. Shame on them.
Reply:Disown your family
Reply:are you serious?! you have an awful family. family is supposed to be there for you. i would sort of understand if he didnt work at all, then your family would be trying to protect you from poverty and possibly depression. but your fiance has a job and hes not going to be finacially holding you back. your family needs some lessons on how to be a family. im not trying to offend you but you and your fiance deserve more support than that
Reply:What can you do about what? You can't force people to be kind, compassionate, welcoming, or even decent human beings.
Remind me not to go to your dentist father-- my teeth probably aren't good enough for him lol
If they refuse to come to the wedding, it's their loss. Don't kiss their butts trying to convince them.
Reply:Don't get too worked up over it. Sooner or later when one of their precious vehicles brakes down, they will come running and begging for his help. Until then you love your fiance and that's all that matters. If you want tell them that you are not going to have any contact with them until they can learn to respect your fiance for who he is instead of what he does.
Reply:okay so if you really love this guy and your parents arent going to come to the wedding thats pretty low.
but just talk to them and say something like "i love him and i dont care what his job is (even though it is a good one) and he can provide for me. so i would really appericate if you put your differences aside and do what makes me happy. and come to the wedding. trust me hes a great man"
Reply:So your own mother wants credentials above a very, very happy daughter? Stick together, after all when you close the front door at night its just you and him, not your mother, father etc.
Reply:Get married in Las Vegas! I was afraid that my family would not accept my husband because, he has 6 children with 4 different mothers. I took a very big risk. After my family found out about it; there was nothing anyone could do about it. It was done and they had to accept him. We are still married. He's 40, I'm 32 and we still goof around like were in high school.
Reply:They are just upset because they wont have inlaws to play croquet an to have tea and biscuits with. Theyll get over it or they wont. But if you love him and he loves you then thats all that matters. Being a mehanic is great money and it involves math, engineering, mechanics, physics, and so much more. But dont hold back because of them. I hope everything works out.
Reply:I think your parents are being totally unfair. I also think if you sit them down and tell them what you've told us they'll relise how much it means to you. You've got a while b4 your wedding so i'm sure they'll come round. The main ting is your doing the right thing marrying your husband to be and by the sounds of it he makes you very happy, thats all that counts. My family hated my husband for no reason just like this but they soon relised if he makes u happy they're happy. They all talk now not bast mates but its cool.
Reply:Seems to me that you are the one with the problem, not your family. You are much too concerned about what all those "educated" people will say. If I were your fiancee, I would have to take an additional look at all these "educated" people and perhaps change my mind and wanting to associate with them for the rest of my life. And, Oh yes, Ms. PhD.......you may want to dust off some of your English books and practice correct sentence structure and punctuation! See, honey, even "educated" people have their flaws. I feel sorry for this guy.....I hope he comes to his senses and dumps you and your "educated" family!!!!
Reply:Go ahead with your life.....you are an adult and you know what's best for you---you do NOT have to please your family and friends....you know, my mother did that, and I didn't back down. I got disowned, I was looked down at--the works. My husband and I moved to the United States and my mother had no idea that she had grandchildren. She regretted it, believe me. She met her grandson when he was 7 and her granddaughter when she was 13. She lost a lot in that both children remembered that they did not have her for their first years. I was happy with my husband--I have a degree in accounting and in criminal justice, and my mom felt that at least I should marry an officer not just a regular soldier--I did what was best for me, and I ended up being the happy person, I ended up having children with high self-esteem and who seek good education themselves---it was totally my mother's loss--she lost 13 years with me, and she never saw her grandchildren grow.....so go on and be happy with your man. I really don't think that just because your mom and dad are docs and pharmarcists they are anything better, because if they didn't have guys like your Bruce they would have to walk to work......I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter whom you bring home your parents will always find flaw in it, and you do not get married to please your parents and friends--let them be snobs, it's their loss---education of the heart is more important than all the education in this world....
Reply:It's a shame that your family are such snobs. The work he is doing is very important to helping the world as we know it function. Maybe they'd like him better if he worked on higher priced cars! (Sorry, just being sarcastic.) He is doing honorable and essential work, and I'm glad you're proud of him.
The important thing is that he loves you and treats you well.
It's painful to have to think that you might have to make a choice between you family and your fiance, but it may come to that. Bruce sounds like a wonderful guy. Not accepting him into the family with love makes it THEIR loss!
Reply:No car last forever. These same people that look down on your fiance are not smart enough to realize he could help them out tremendously and even give them a big discount if they have car troubles.
Reply:Ok if he makes you happy. YOur family should be happy for you. Is not like he doesn't have a job. He is a hard worker. They need to accept the fact that this is the man you want to spend the rest of life with and trust that you made a good decision
Reply:Well, sense your family and friends don't have to marry him I'd tell them butt out. Nothing more sexy in my opinion than a hard working man. Tell them you're quite insulted if they would think you would be satisfied with an idiot for a husband, after you say your piece forget about their opinions and enjoy your man.
Reply:Your family needs a reality check, PRONTO! They are being absolutely ridiculous. A degree does not make a person. My brother is a mason with his own masonry and carpentry business and he married a girl with a PhD. They get along famously. What, does your family think less of "normal" people?? Well, without us who would fix their cars, build their houses, cut their hair, sell them their fancy clothes, and protect their lives (yes, I'm a cop and I only have 2 years of college.) Tell your parents that without people like your future husband they wouldn't be able to live their privileged lives.
Good luck!!
My friends and family don't respect fiance's career?
You can tell them they will see you the next time they come and visit you and your husband.
Reply:All that matters is that u accept it. U are the one who has to live w/ him not them so if they don't accept it then who cares!
Reply:your whole family is pretty shallow. he loves to do what he loves to do. i'd hate to be a doctor or pharmacists or one of those rats.
Reply:You live your life for yourself, not for your family. I know how that feels. My dad is the same way (looks down at people who works in trades). I would say your family will eventually come around. Your happiness is more important than what they like to push you to believe.
Reply:Let them refuse, then. A marriage is about "us against the world," so ignore them and if they don't come then they can get over it, but I wouldn't fret too much because you deserve people and family who will accept you for who you are. If you are the leas tbit unhappy with your relationship, I could see where they are coming from, but if not, just be happy and stick to it!! Your family cannot control your life!! =D Good luck!
Reply:Nothing. Your parents should accept him the way he is. What he does is a very skilled talent, and although much different than yours or your families, it doesn't make him less of a man. It's what he does and he's good at it. There is nothing you can do to change that and your family should respect him simply because you love him. What is it they really want for you, money or happiness?
Reply:wow tough one there
you come from a family of Phds and what not
and you set your sight low on a mechanic ( who works at a FORD dealership no less... next time aim for a Toyota, they are number one in the USA )
i will tend to agree with your parents
though not going to the wedding is a bad call on their part
most college educated end up marrying likewise
so how you went blue collar on them is anyones guess
there is a high chance you will end up divorce
dues to the financial and educational differences
so do not plan on having children
i am just warning you
there is a classic saying for people
water seeks it's own level
you did not
Reply:What matters is if he is a good guy and truly cares about you.
Reply:You %26amp; your family may be highly educated, but not entirely educated on life itself. They sound very pompous to me %26amp; irritating. My fiance's dream is to rebuild cars %26amp; I totally support it. There is a huge amount of money in that. Maybe they will feel better when he's made a 50K profit on a car. Total BS in my opinion. If they don't support you now, they never will.
Reply:It seems to me that you are happy and to me that's all that matters .....your parents have lived there life now you go out and live yours.....Mechanics ....do make good money the certified ones ..I actually know a doctor and her husband is a mechanic .............enjoy your life and be happy ....you found love some people can't even find that .......
Reply:Your the one who thinks hes wonderful....and he makes great money. You are the one marrying him, not your parents. I know you want your family at your wedding but if they are going to be assholes about it, I wouldn't want them there anyways.
He loves you, he is good to you, and he wants to spend the rest of his LIFE with you making you happy...that is what is important. Not what your job is.
If my parents were pissed off at what my husband does for a living, and refused to accept him, well too bad for you. I am incredibly happy.
Your family needs to grow some new brains and realize that all of this will tear the family apart. Shame on them.
Reply:Disown your family
Reply:are you serious?! you have an awful family. family is supposed to be there for you. i would sort of understand if he didnt work at all, then your family would be trying to protect you from poverty and possibly depression. but your fiance has a job and hes not going to be finacially holding you back. your family needs some lessons on how to be a family. im not trying to offend you but you and your fiance deserve more support than that
Reply:What can you do about what? You can't force people to be kind, compassionate, welcoming, or even decent human beings.
Remind me not to go to your dentist father-- my teeth probably aren't good enough for him lol
If they refuse to come to the wedding, it's their loss. Don't kiss their butts trying to convince them.
Reply:Don't get too worked up over it. Sooner or later when one of their precious vehicles brakes down, they will come running and begging for his help. Until then you love your fiance and that's all that matters. If you want tell them that you are not going to have any contact with them until they can learn to respect your fiance for who he is instead of what he does.
Reply:okay so if you really love this guy and your parents arent going to come to the wedding thats pretty low.
but just talk to them and say something like "i love him and i dont care what his job is (even though it is a good one) and he can provide for me. so i would really appericate if you put your differences aside and do what makes me happy. and come to the wedding. trust me hes a great man"
Reply:So your own mother wants credentials above a very, very happy daughter? Stick together, after all when you close the front door at night its just you and him, not your mother, father etc.
Reply:Get married in Las Vegas! I was afraid that my family would not accept my husband because, he has 6 children with 4 different mothers. I took a very big risk. After my family found out about it; there was nothing anyone could do about it. It was done and they had to accept him. We are still married. He's 40, I'm 32 and we still goof around like were in high school.
Reply:They are just upset because they wont have inlaws to play croquet an to have tea and biscuits with. Theyll get over it or they wont. But if you love him and he loves you then thats all that matters. Being a mehanic is great money and it involves math, engineering, mechanics, physics, and so much more. But dont hold back because of them. I hope everything works out.
Reply:I think your parents are being totally unfair. I also think if you sit them down and tell them what you've told us they'll relise how much it means to you. You've got a while b4 your wedding so i'm sure they'll come round. The main ting is your doing the right thing marrying your husband to be and by the sounds of it he makes you very happy, thats all that counts. My family hated my husband for no reason just like this but they soon relised if he makes u happy they're happy. They all talk now not bast mates but its cool.
Reply:Seems to me that you are the one with the problem, not your family. You are much too concerned about what all those "educated" people will say. If I were your fiancee, I would have to take an additional look at all these "educated" people and perhaps change my mind and wanting to associate with them for the rest of my life. And, Oh yes, Ms. PhD.......you may want to dust off some of your English books and practice correct sentence structure and punctuation! See, honey, even "educated" people have their flaws. I feel sorry for this guy.....I hope he comes to his senses and dumps you and your "educated" family!!!!
Reply:Go ahead with your life.....you are an adult and you know what's best for you---you do NOT have to please your family and friends....you know, my mother did that, and I didn't back down. I got disowned, I was looked down at--the works. My husband and I moved to the United States and my mother had no idea that she had grandchildren. She regretted it, believe me. She met her grandson when he was 7 and her granddaughter when she was 13. She lost a lot in that both children remembered that they did not have her for their first years. I was happy with my husband--I have a degree in accounting and in criminal justice, and my mom felt that at least I should marry an officer not just a regular soldier--I did what was best for me, and I ended up being the happy person, I ended up having children with high self-esteem and who seek good education themselves---it was totally my mother's loss--she lost 13 years with me, and she never saw her grandchildren grow.....so go on and be happy with your man. I really don't think that just because your mom and dad are docs and pharmarcists they are anything better, because if they didn't have guys like your Bruce they would have to walk to work......I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter whom you bring home your parents will always find flaw in it, and you do not get married to please your parents and friends--let them be snobs, it's their loss---education of the heart is more important than all the education in this world....
Reply:It's a shame that your family are such snobs. The work he is doing is very important to helping the world as we know it function. Maybe they'd like him better if he worked on higher priced cars! (Sorry, just being sarcastic.) He is doing honorable and essential work, and I'm glad you're proud of him.
The important thing is that he loves you and treats you well.
It's painful to have to think that you might have to make a choice between you family and your fiance, but it may come to that. Bruce sounds like a wonderful guy. Not accepting him into the family with love makes it THEIR loss!
Reply:No car last forever. These same people that look down on your fiance are not smart enough to realize he could help them out tremendously and even give them a big discount if they have car troubles.
Reply:Ok if he makes you happy. YOur family should be happy for you. Is not like he doesn't have a job. He is a hard worker. They need to accept the fact that this is the man you want to spend the rest of life with and trust that you made a good decision
Reply:Well, sense your family and friends don't have to marry him I'd tell them butt out. Nothing more sexy in my opinion than a hard working man. Tell them you're quite insulted if they would think you would be satisfied with an idiot for a husband, after you say your piece forget about their opinions and enjoy your man.
Reply:Your family needs a reality check, PRONTO! They are being absolutely ridiculous. A degree does not make a person. My brother is a mason with his own masonry and carpentry business and he married a girl with a PhD. They get along famously. What, does your family think less of "normal" people?? Well, without us who would fix their cars, build their houses, cut their hair, sell them their fancy clothes, and protect their lives (yes, I'm a cop and I only have 2 years of college.) Tell your parents that without people like your future husband they wouldn't be able to live their privileged lives.
Good luck!!
Your family spend dental care more than health care each year?
Our family did a grade job on clean the teeth, but still,every time we went to dentist office,it cost me a lot of money, they have all kind of reason to get money from me.
Your family spend dental care more than health care each year?
Yes, I pay more because I have health insurance but not dental. It's getting ridiculous, my last cleaning was almost $100! And I don't think they are doing the job they should be. They seem like they are in it only for the money nowadays, I was thinking of switching dentists.
Reply:No.
My dental insurance is less than my medical insurance. My company recently switched insurance, but 2 of the 3 dentists we use are in network rather than 0 of the 3. So that will help.
The one who is not in our network is my daughters' ped dds. I have copays for the work he does for my girls. I expect a high standard of care and I get it. I don't mind paying out of pocket costs.
Reply:There is a very in-expensive but high-quality dental plan that can help you with that. It doesnt pay 100%, but can save you signifcant money, and most dentists are good about taking payments if you at least have a plan of some sort. Another good thing is, unlike tradional insurance, everyone in the US qualifies for it (except alaska and montana) Read on:
~Dental, Vision, Rx, and Chiropractic plan
~$11.95/month individual or $19.95/month entire household
~All specialists included, even cosmetic dentistry, oral surgery, orthodontics, dentures, etc.
~No waiting periods! You can go to the dentist the same day!
~No claim forms or deductibles
~No age limits
~All on-going conditions accepted
~The largest and highest quality network of providers, which means only the best dentists for you!
~No limits on visits or services. Use your plan whenever you want/need.
~100% satisfaction guaranteed
~Rates guaranteed for 2 years
~Health/Medical plan available also!
For more information:
visit: www.theaplan.biz/rachele
call: 541-258-7148
email or IM: starsalso@yahoo.com
Your family spend dental care more than health care each year?
Yes, I pay more because I have health insurance but not dental. It's getting ridiculous, my last cleaning was almost $100! And I don't think they are doing the job they should be. They seem like they are in it only for the money nowadays, I was thinking of switching dentists.
Reply:No.
My dental insurance is less than my medical insurance. My company recently switched insurance, but 2 of the 3 dentists we use are in network rather than 0 of the 3. So that will help.
The one who is not in our network is my daughters' ped dds. I have copays for the work he does for my girls. I expect a high standard of care and I get it. I don't mind paying out of pocket costs.
Reply:There is a very in-expensive but high-quality dental plan that can help you with that. It doesnt pay 100%, but can save you signifcant money, and most dentists are good about taking payments if you at least have a plan of some sort. Another good thing is, unlike tradional insurance, everyone in the US qualifies for it (except alaska and montana) Read on:
~Dental, Vision, Rx, and Chiropractic plan
~$11.95/month individual or $19.95/month entire household
~All specialists included, even cosmetic dentistry, oral surgery, orthodontics, dentures, etc.
~No waiting periods! You can go to the dentist the same day!
~No claim forms or deductibles
~No age limits
~All on-going conditions accepted
~The largest and highest quality network of providers, which means only the best dentists for you!
~No limits on visits or services. Use your plan whenever you want/need.
~100% satisfaction guaranteed
~Rates guaranteed for 2 years
~Health/Medical plan available also!
For more information:
visit: www.theaplan.biz/rachele
call: 541-258-7148
email or IM: starsalso@yahoo.com
Family Health Insurance?? Question Help?
I was wondering does family health insurance, for example. like in my situation, i want to go to a dentist to whiten my teeth, but will the insurance cover for that?
Family Health Insurance?? Question Help?
Health insurance NEVER covers dental work - no cavities, no checkups, no extractions, nothing.
So no, health insurance won't cover it.
Reply:depends on your coverage and how much you pay per month blah blah blah. basically it depends
Reply:Usually health care insurance and dental insurance are two separate things. Most dental insurances don't cover whitening, as that is considered cosmetic.
Reply:Most family insurances do not cover dental for whitening teeth. You have to read the whats not covered or call them to find out.
Reply:Generally, health insurance does not cover any dental. Some health policies do have dental as an option but few will cover whitening. A few dental policies will cover whitening. The only way to know for sure is to call your agent if the policy is an individual policy or your HR department if the policy is a group policy.
Reply:if you have ameriplan it will lower your bill considerably
http://www.deliveringonthepromise.com/Tr...
contact me at boey09@hotmail.com with any questions you might have
Reply:Usually if the procedure is not medically necessary insurance will not cover it.
Reply:Teeth whitening will not be covered on a health insurance policy.
Though this next comment may seem like an attempt at humor, it is not. Purchase a bottle of hydrogen peroxide topical solution, 3%. It will cost about $1.00. On the bottle you will notice the words, "oral debriding agent." Use it like mouthwash, allowing it to work for 10-20 minutes each day for a week. Daily use is safe.
Your teeth will be whitened, and your mouth much healthier.
Reply:I'm not too sure abt it. However, there are many ways that you can whiten your teeth.
Here are many ways that you can whitening your teeth!
For home remedies.
Mix baking soda and hydrogen peroxide to form toothpaste. Brush the teeth regularly with this paste. It will remove all stains in a month.
Use bicarbonate of soda 5 minutes before brushing the teeth with normal toothpaste in the morning. This is a good home remedy for teeth whitening.
Rubbing the bark of walnut tree on the teeth helps in removing all stains from the teeth.
Strawberries are considered natural teeth whiteners. Rubbing the teeth with strawberries daily will remove all the stains.
If you would like a suggestion on tooth whitening gel, here's something for you!
Crest Night Effects Whitening Gel (about $18.00) allows you to remove stains while you sleep. The tooth whitening system has a fresh, wintergreen flavor. After fourteen days of sleeping with this product on your teeth, you will wake up to a vibrant smile. You should see results in two days, although there are reports of tooth whitening results in one night
More on
http://www.toothwhiteningproductreview.c...
Family Health Insurance?? Question Help?
Health insurance NEVER covers dental work - no cavities, no checkups, no extractions, nothing.
So no, health insurance won't cover it.
Reply:depends on your coverage and how much you pay per month blah blah blah. basically it depends
Reply:Usually health care insurance and dental insurance are two separate things. Most dental insurances don't cover whitening, as that is considered cosmetic.
Reply:Most family insurances do not cover dental for whitening teeth. You have to read the whats not covered or call them to find out.
Reply:Generally, health insurance does not cover any dental. Some health policies do have dental as an option but few will cover whitening. A few dental policies will cover whitening. The only way to know for sure is to call your agent if the policy is an individual policy or your HR department if the policy is a group policy.
Reply:if you have ameriplan it will lower your bill considerably
http://www.deliveringonthepromise.com/Tr...
contact me at boey09@hotmail.com with any questions you might have
Reply:Usually if the procedure is not medically necessary insurance will not cover it.
Reply:Teeth whitening will not be covered on a health insurance policy.
Though this next comment may seem like an attempt at humor, it is not. Purchase a bottle of hydrogen peroxide topical solution, 3%. It will cost about $1.00. On the bottle you will notice the words, "oral debriding agent." Use it like mouthwash, allowing it to work for 10-20 minutes each day for a week. Daily use is safe.
Your teeth will be whitened, and your mouth much healthier.
Reply:I'm not too sure abt it. However, there are many ways that you can whiten your teeth.
Here are many ways that you can whitening your teeth!
For home remedies.
Mix baking soda and hydrogen peroxide to form toothpaste. Brush the teeth regularly with this paste. It will remove all stains in a month.
Use bicarbonate of soda 5 minutes before brushing the teeth with normal toothpaste in the morning. This is a good home remedy for teeth whitening.
Rubbing the bark of walnut tree on the teeth helps in removing all stains from the teeth.
Strawberries are considered natural teeth whiteners. Rubbing the teeth with strawberries daily will remove all the stains.
If you would like a suggestion on tooth whitening gel, here's something for you!
Crest Night Effects Whitening Gel (about $18.00) allows you to remove stains while you sleep. The tooth whitening system has a fresh, wintergreen flavor. After fourteen days of sleeping with this product on your teeth, you will wake up to a vibrant smile. You should see results in two days, although there are reports of tooth whitening results in one night
More on
http://www.toothwhiteningproductreview.c...
How to stop a person from hurting their family. The wife has a boyfriend who is a dentist in Hilliard, Oh.?
u cannt do anything
How to stop a person from hurting their family. The wife has a boyfriend who is a dentist in Hilliard, Oh.?
Are dentists licensed by the state? Is his behavior ethical.
Reply:whoa..what are you trying to ask exactly..
Retype the question and I will see what I can do to provide some advice...
Sounds like someone from a wealthy family is cheating with her dentist????
( I have famiy in that area)
Reply:tell on her. it might b one more pain 4 the family but if the family finds out about her extra man then she cant hurt them that way again.
or tell her what u know via a letter under a wiper (she wont know who u r) and that she has a wk to get herself together or u r goin to tell her husband. u tell him by the old handy camera (send him pics of her kissin the dentist)
Reply:Frankly speaking i did not get you in the question.
I did not get you in saying that the boy friend is dentist.
If the lady is cheating then its cheating thats it 'POINT', who cares if he is a dentist or a begger.
Once married be commited, if you have problems, sit and sort it out.If you cant find a solution get seperated and then start looking.
This is life, best way is somebody close to her has to give her councelling by telling her that its not just her life now that gets effected by such things, she ruins her partners life as well as her children.
layouts for myspace
How to stop a person from hurting their family. The wife has a boyfriend who is a dentist in Hilliard, Oh.?
Are dentists licensed by the state? Is his behavior ethical.
Reply:whoa..what are you trying to ask exactly..
Retype the question and I will see what I can do to provide some advice...
Sounds like someone from a wealthy family is cheating with her dentist????
( I have famiy in that area)
Reply:tell on her. it might b one more pain 4 the family but if the family finds out about her extra man then she cant hurt them that way again.
or tell her what u know via a letter under a wiper (she wont know who u r) and that she has a wk to get herself together or u r goin to tell her husband. u tell him by the old handy camera (send him pics of her kissin the dentist)
Reply:Frankly speaking i did not get you in the question.
I did not get you in saying that the boy friend is dentist.
If the lady is cheating then its cheating thats it 'POINT', who cares if he is a dentist or a begger.
Once married be commited, if you have problems, sit and sort it out.If you cant find a solution get seperated and then start looking.
This is life, best way is somebody close to her has to give her councelling by telling her that its not just her life now that gets effected by such things, she ruins her partners life as well as her children.
layouts for myspace
Why don't dentists care about employees receiving breaks or a lunch hours?
I have worked 17 years in the dental field. I quit working in the dental field for this very reason. I would like to know the answer. I worked for 3 different dentist and they were all the same. I do not believe they care about anything other than themselves and there pocket book. I am a mother of two. After working at least 10 hrs per day without a break and rarley receiving a full lunch hour I have to go home do homework with kids, make dinner, and get what ever house work I can done. I also have to get the kids to what ever practice or event they may have. For being a profession dominated by women it is hard to swallow that dentist have no concern as to how hard they work their employees and how they are unresponsive to the fact that we have family too. Our day does not end when we leave the office. We have to keep going! just Why not give us breaks and make sure we receive our full lunch. This would make a huge difference in our lives. Michigan Dental Assistant
Why don't dentists care about employees receiving breaks or a lunch hours?
I say I hear your pain!!!
I have worked in the dental field first as a dental assistant for many years then as a Hygienist. I have only worked in a few offices. The office I work now, the dentist comes in late, has the front desk many times move patients up then runs behind all day. Drives us NUTS. She want to get out early. I only work with her one day a week. Usually no lunch and makes her Hygiene patients wait many times for 30mins or more.
Last man I worked for ran on time, rarely did we miss lunch-rarely-there is NO excuse for this happening over and over. Sometimes yes, all the time NO! Selfish.
I don't have a cleaning lady, or someone to do my wash. Homework every night....I hear ya sister. BUT there are Dentists out there that don't do this...Where are you?? lol
Reply:i think you just have bad luck with jobs...
Reply:It is not that we don't care about our staff (front office, assistants and hygienists) it is that we have devoted ourselves to helping our patients as well. Often that comes at a cost of personal sacrifice to ourselves and
I'm sorry to say, our staff as well. Whenever a patient calls with a concern, pain, question, or something broken, we find the need to make time for those people that we have devoted ourselves to help. If you were a dental patient with an emergency, would you like to be told that "I know that your tooth really hurts, and you haven't slept all night and your face is swollen up like a basketball, but the doctor and his staff have to eat lunch for an hour, But we can see you in about a week and a half when we have a 5 minute opening, is that ok with you?". Now this may sound a little extreme; however, this is how our patients hear it. Our patients need to know that we are there for them, and unfortunately, that means sometimes having to work through lunch, arrive early and stay late...even come in on the weekends! Now don't get me wrong, our staff works really hard and are appreciated for all of their effort, we could not do the work without them! I know in my office at least I try to give the staff the hour break that is promised to them (if it means having to work by myself sometimes), but do they always get an hour straight (I am sorry to say) No! If I ever have to put a patient in during lunch or at the end of the day, I am sure to check with my staff to see if they have a problem with it! Now it sounds to me that either you never spoke about your concerns with your previous employers, maybe some are not as nice as I am, or maybe this is not really the career for you. In this profession, Patient Care Come First. To me it sounds like you are in it more for yourself than the patients that you are trying to care for. Don't get me wrong, I understand that everyone has lives outside of the office, but in this field, you have to be willing to make sacrifices sometimes - for the good of the patients (and it is not just so that we can pad our pocketbooks!!!!!!)!
Reply:WHEN APPLYING FOR A JOB YOU MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC AND FIND OUT WHEN YOU ARE ENTITLEDEDTP A LUNCH BREAK.
IT IS A LABOR LAW IN THE U.S.A. THAT AFTER EVERY 4 HOURS OF WORK YOU TAKE A 15 MIN. BREAK. TO FIND OUT MORE CHECK THIS SITE:
http://www.dol.gov/
Reply:Id say unionize but most dental offices dont have that many employees
Reply:for the most part, i never make my employees work longer than they are supposed to. on the other hand, i expect not to hear any bitching if an extraction runs a little long. it's part of the job. and it's not like i earn any more money if things take longer.
i smell some untruth in your complaints too. those posters in the break room with employees rights have all of the labor laws in plain sight. you could have showed them to the dentist if it was really a problem.
Reply:I schedule 90 minutes for lunch to be sure that we get a full 60 minutes. Not all dentists are the way your bosses have been. If you like your job, keep looking!
We see patients 7 hours per day.
Why don't dentists care about employees receiving breaks or a lunch hours?
I say I hear your pain!!!
I have worked in the dental field first as a dental assistant for many years then as a Hygienist. I have only worked in a few offices. The office I work now, the dentist comes in late, has the front desk many times move patients up then runs behind all day. Drives us NUTS. She want to get out early. I only work with her one day a week. Usually no lunch and makes her Hygiene patients wait many times for 30mins or more.
Last man I worked for ran on time, rarely did we miss lunch-rarely-there is NO excuse for this happening over and over. Sometimes yes, all the time NO! Selfish.
I don't have a cleaning lady, or someone to do my wash. Homework every night....I hear ya sister. BUT there are Dentists out there that don't do this...Where are you?? lol
Reply:i think you just have bad luck with jobs...
Reply:It is not that we don't care about our staff (front office, assistants and hygienists) it is that we have devoted ourselves to helping our patients as well. Often that comes at a cost of personal sacrifice to ourselves and
I'm sorry to say, our staff as well. Whenever a patient calls with a concern, pain, question, or something broken, we find the need to make time for those people that we have devoted ourselves to help. If you were a dental patient with an emergency, would you like to be told that "I know that your tooth really hurts, and you haven't slept all night and your face is swollen up like a basketball, but the doctor and his staff have to eat lunch for an hour, But we can see you in about a week and a half when we have a 5 minute opening, is that ok with you?". Now this may sound a little extreme; however, this is how our patients hear it. Our patients need to know that we are there for them, and unfortunately, that means sometimes having to work through lunch, arrive early and stay late...even come in on the weekends! Now don't get me wrong, our staff works really hard and are appreciated for all of their effort, we could not do the work without them! I know in my office at least I try to give the staff the hour break that is promised to them (if it means having to work by myself sometimes), but do they always get an hour straight (I am sorry to say) No! If I ever have to put a patient in during lunch or at the end of the day, I am sure to check with my staff to see if they have a problem with it! Now it sounds to me that either you never spoke about your concerns with your previous employers, maybe some are not as nice as I am, or maybe this is not really the career for you. In this profession, Patient Care Come First. To me it sounds like you are in it more for yourself than the patients that you are trying to care for. Don't get me wrong, I understand that everyone has lives outside of the office, but in this field, you have to be willing to make sacrifices sometimes - for the good of the patients (and it is not just so that we can pad our pocketbooks!!!!!!)!
Reply:WHEN APPLYING FOR A JOB YOU MUST BE VERY SPECIFIC AND FIND OUT WHEN YOU ARE ENTITLEDEDTP A LUNCH BREAK.
IT IS A LABOR LAW IN THE U.S.A. THAT AFTER EVERY 4 HOURS OF WORK YOU TAKE A 15 MIN. BREAK. TO FIND OUT MORE CHECK THIS SITE:
http://www.dol.gov/
Reply:Id say unionize but most dental offices dont have that many employees
Reply:for the most part, i never make my employees work longer than they are supposed to. on the other hand, i expect not to hear any bitching if an extraction runs a little long. it's part of the job. and it's not like i earn any more money if things take longer.
i smell some untruth in your complaints too. those posters in the break room with employees rights have all of the labor laws in plain sight. you could have showed them to the dentist if it was really a problem.
Reply:I schedule 90 minutes for lunch to be sure that we get a full 60 minutes. Not all dentists are the way your bosses have been. If you like your job, keep looking!
We see patients 7 hours per day.
Family & My Career Choice?
My family is constantly expecting me to end up being a successful doctor/dentist/someone who makes a lotttt of money. I tell them that I want to be a doctor, but I really want to look into fashion %26amp; designing...I know that if I tell them this, they will be disappointed, especially since my older sister is majoring in biology in college and is pursuing her career of becoming a general surgeon. What should I do? Should I agree with my parents and become a doctor, or should I tell them what I want to be? I don't want them to completely give up on me or anything...
Family %26amp; My Career Choice?
It isn't easy when you're in your position, but if you think further down the road, it's a pretty clear choice. You should follow your heart. In the end, you're the one who has to live with your choices.
Look at it this way. Is it better to face your family's disappointment now or to face your own disappointment with your own life after spending years doing something you never really wanted to do in the first place?
Besides, you'll be much more successful doing something you love than doing something to please someone else. Who says successful fashion designers don't make a lotttt of money? You may have to excel at what you do to make it, but IF you love it that much, then you're motivated to do what it takes to excel, aren't you?
Reply:That is a tough one. It's hard to be the oddball, the lowball who has disappointed his or her parents. But --- your parents really have NO right to voice major or chronic disapproval / disappointment over a responsible career choice that fits your gifts and personality. There's not much worse than dragging yourself to a job you detest -- and have heavily invested time and $$ into -- for the rest of your life.
Still, there is no reason to be drawing any lines in the sand yet. Tell them that while you are still interested in (choice of highpaying profession), you are also drawn to (lower paying artistic profession), and that you realize that now is the time to try out a bit of each of them.
Reply:Your family wants something good for you, but they probably don't know as much about how things really are in the world today. We have friends in our church who are doctors--their wives have to work and they are very worried about the possibility of socialized medicine.
If you ask most people about free health care they'll say it's a great idea. But do you want to go to expensive schools for YEARS to be able to give other people free health care and you not make much money?
Your school probably has guidance/counseling--ask them to let you take tests which show what kind of career you would be good at. Then you can show your parents you would make a lousy doctor, and probably get sued! (you may also find you would make a lousy fashion designer too! This would be a really good thing to know before you get set either way.)
Family %26amp; My Career Choice?
It isn't easy when you're in your position, but if you think further down the road, it's a pretty clear choice. You should follow your heart. In the end, you're the one who has to live with your choices.
Look at it this way. Is it better to face your family's disappointment now or to face your own disappointment with your own life after spending years doing something you never really wanted to do in the first place?
Besides, you'll be much more successful doing something you love than doing something to please someone else. Who says successful fashion designers don't make a lotttt of money? You may have to excel at what you do to make it, but IF you love it that much, then you're motivated to do what it takes to excel, aren't you?
Reply:That is a tough one. It's hard to be the oddball, the lowball who has disappointed his or her parents. But --- your parents really have NO right to voice major or chronic disapproval / disappointment over a responsible career choice that fits your gifts and personality. There's not much worse than dragging yourself to a job you detest -- and have heavily invested time and $$ into -- for the rest of your life.
Still, there is no reason to be drawing any lines in the sand yet. Tell them that while you are still interested in (choice of highpaying profession), you are also drawn to (lower paying artistic profession), and that you realize that now is the time to try out a bit of each of them.
Reply:Your family wants something good for you, but they probably don't know as much about how things really are in the world today. We have friends in our church who are doctors--their wives have to work and they are very worried about the possibility of socialized medicine.
If you ask most people about free health care they'll say it's a great idea. But do you want to go to expensive schools for YEARS to be able to give other people free health care and you not make much money?
Your school probably has guidance/counseling--ask them to let you take tests which show what kind of career you would be good at. Then you can show your parents you would make a lousy doctor, and probably get sued! (you may also find you would make a lousy fashion designer too! This would be a really good thing to know before you get set either way.)
Any women dentists out there?
Are there any women in the field of dentistry who could answer some questions for me? Do you own your own practice or work for another dentist? Is it possible to work part time if you wish to raise a family as well? I am a freshman in college thinking about majoring in dentistry, but I'm not sure. If you could answer this for me it would really be helpful. Thanks:)
Any women dentists out there?
I am currently a dental student. I believe these things are very possible, especially in the field of dentistry as opposed to another health field such as medicine. I have seen several female classmates with children, and some with children on the way. Dentistry is great because there is not as much pressure to be on call as a physician would be, it is much easier to set a work schedule that you like, especially if you own your own practice. If you are interested in the field of dentistry don't let the fear of not having enough time with family dissuade you from your dreams. As the last poster said, all it takes is organization and dedication. volunteer with a dentist in your area and see if the field is right for you. I love what I'm learning and what i will be doing in a few years so i recommend it fully. =)
Reply:I've been practicing since 1990. I started out single and with lots of debt...worked six days. Got married, had a daughter, got divorced, kept working, took great vacations. Remarriednow with an almost 3 yr old and a 20 month old ( along with the 14 year old) I work 3 and 1/2 days a week. I don't own my own practice, because I'd need to work alot more and I don't want to! I love my job and I love my family
It works out really well! I also homeschooled the teenager through middle school, while doing everything else. You just need to be a little organized
Reply:Lucky for you girls universities are taking split classes of males and females into dentistry allowing competition only within sexes. Meaning you are going to be competing for around 20 of the 40 spots.
Any women dentists out there?
I am currently a dental student. I believe these things are very possible, especially in the field of dentistry as opposed to another health field such as medicine. I have seen several female classmates with children, and some with children on the way. Dentistry is great because there is not as much pressure to be on call as a physician would be, it is much easier to set a work schedule that you like, especially if you own your own practice. If you are interested in the field of dentistry don't let the fear of not having enough time with family dissuade you from your dreams. As the last poster said, all it takes is organization and dedication. volunteer with a dentist in your area and see if the field is right for you. I love what I'm learning and what i will be doing in a few years so i recommend it fully. =)
Reply:I've been practicing since 1990. I started out single and with lots of debt...worked six days. Got married, had a daughter, got divorced, kept working, took great vacations. Remarriednow with an almost 3 yr old and a 20 month old ( along with the 14 year old) I work 3 and 1/2 days a week. I don't own my own practice, because I'd need to work alot more and I don't want to! I love my job and I love my family
It works out really well! I also homeschooled the teenager through middle school, while doing everything else. You just need to be a little organized
Reply:Lucky for you girls universities are taking split classes of males and females into dentistry allowing competition only within sexes. Meaning you are going to be competing for around 20 of the 40 spots.
Dentists...can you help me please! Question about my jaw...?
I went to my dentist about the extreme pain my jaw is causing me and he said I have TMJ. He went through all the information about it and said we would try a retainer I wear at night and if that didn't work I would have to get braces for a second time. He estimated the braces to cost about $4200. I am 18 and a senior in highschool. My family is going through a very rough time financially and it's going to get a lot harder when I go off to college. I just got a speeding ticket and thats going to probably be about $300-400 which I have to pay, which will prevent me from being able to help with the braces thing. (I don't have a job.) The problem: The retainer is making my jaw worse. IT has probably doubled the pain and it now feels extremely tight. I am not going to tell the dentist though, because then he would say I need the braces. What I want to know is by saying that it's feeling better when in fact it's not, can I cause serious and long-lasting damage? Thank you.
Dentists...can you help me please! Question about my jaw...?
http://www.ctds.info/tmj.html
has some alternative solutions
Reply:long term likely will damage the joint. If you believe the retainer is making things worse, stop using it for a while and see if it gets better. Jaw pain can also be caused by grinding the teeth at night, there are many types of mouth guards to wear at night to prevent this. Also poor occulusion will also cause jaw pain perhaps that is where the braces come in. Anyway slow down save the ticket money for more productive things like taking care of your mouth.
Reply:I had TMJ and saw several different dentists. They did not all agree on the treatment. The third dentist that I saw was able to solve my problem and I feel great. I would consider getting a second opinion. Also, try to find a dentist that specializes in TMJ issues as opposed to a general dentist. That is who I ended up seeing and they were able to solve my problem. (without braces)
Reply:Go to a chiropractor and have your jaw adjusted....it really works...about a 39 dollar visit
bastad clogs
Dentists...can you help me please! Question about my jaw...?
http://www.ctds.info/tmj.html
has some alternative solutions
Reply:long term likely will damage the joint. If you believe the retainer is making things worse, stop using it for a while and see if it gets better. Jaw pain can also be caused by grinding the teeth at night, there are many types of mouth guards to wear at night to prevent this. Also poor occulusion will also cause jaw pain perhaps that is where the braces come in. Anyway slow down save the ticket money for more productive things like taking care of your mouth.
Reply:I had TMJ and saw several different dentists. They did not all agree on the treatment. The third dentist that I saw was able to solve my problem and I feel great. I would consider getting a second opinion. Also, try to find a dentist that specializes in TMJ issues as opposed to a general dentist. That is who I ended up seeing and they were able to solve my problem. (without braces)
Reply:Go to a chiropractor and have your jaw adjusted....it really works...about a 39 dollar visit
bastad clogs
Can a dentist (GDP in the UK) treat their own family?
Yes they can. However, some dentists may be reluctant to do so because if things don't turn out the way the family member wants, it would put them into a rather uncomfortable position. Perhaps more importantly, some people get nervous treating family members and therefore prefer them to see another dentist.
Can a dentist (GDP in the UK) treat their own family?
why not..this would be a dumb rule if not...they are patients too....in america,certainly,dentist treat their own.wow........
Reply:I'm sure that they can - I doubt that there's anything legal-wise that would keep them from doing so. I'm not sure if I would, though, because its a conflict of interest.
Can a dentist (GDP in the UK) treat their own family?
why not..this would be a dumb rule if not...they are patients too....in america,certainly,dentist treat their own.wow........
Reply:I'm sure that they can - I doubt that there's anything legal-wise that would keep them from doing so. I'm not sure if I would, though, because its a conflict of interest.
Is it alrigt to visit a family doctor for a toothache and not a dentist?
Hell yea, especially if you dont have dental insurance!
Is it alrigt to visit a family doctor for a toothache and not a dentist?
if that was the case who would need a dentist,the family Doctor might prescribe some pain med but will refer you to a dentist.
Reply:YOu can but they can't do much they would more like just give you some thing for the pain till you see the dentist which they would tell you to do.
Reply:I think it would be smarter to visit a dentist. but heyy go for it
Reply:And what exactly do you expect a doctor to do for your toothache??? No, you shouldn't waste your doctor's time with something which is clearly a dental problem - you need to see a dentist who can actually do something to fix the problem, not just give you pain killers (which is all a family doctor will be able to do).
Is it alrigt to visit a family doctor for a toothache and not a dentist?
if that was the case who would need a dentist,the family Doctor might prescribe some pain med but will refer you to a dentist.
Reply:YOu can but they can't do much they would more like just give you some thing for the pain till you see the dentist which they would tell you to do.
Reply:I think it would be smarter to visit a dentist. but heyy go for it
Reply:And what exactly do you expect a doctor to do for your toothache??? No, you shouldn't waste your doctor's time with something which is clearly a dental problem - you need to see a dentist who can actually do something to fix the problem, not just give you pain killers (which is all a family doctor will be able to do).
Is going back to school and raising a family feasible?
I am 22 years and have my associates degree. I recently became a father for the first time. I wanted opinions on whether raising a family and going back to school to be a dentist is a realistic goal. I want to provide for my family the best that I can. I would most likely have to start school all over because I didn't take that many science classes in my Associates. What do you think.
Is going back to school and raising a family feasible?
I'd go for it, especially now while your child is small, because it's so much easier now than it will be when he/she is older. I'm a full time student with three kids, ages 12, 10 and 5 and it's hard, but I know when I'm done, I'll have a career that pays well and will enable me to better support my family. Just make sure your wife is onboard with the plan - school is difficult, and you'll probably need her support to get through it. In the end, while it will be difficult, it will be well worth it.
Good luck to you.
Reply:It depends on your present financial status as well as cooperation you are likely to get from your family members during your studies. Also whether you stay home or go out of station for studies. If odds are favorable and it increases your earnings significantly in future, you can go for it. The decision is yours.
Reply:Go to school - two things will happen. You will prepare for a better future for your family starting in 4 years AND your children will see that university is a perfectly normal part of dad's life and begin to see it in their own future as well. Children learn what they live.
Reply:It's doable, but it's hard. You've got to spend time in class and studying at home, possibly working (full or part time) and spending time with your family. Think about what schedules will look like before you start. Consider your wife's input too.
Reply:It will be hard at first but the rewards will be great. I had a cousin who went back to school and on to medical school. He has no regrets and always tells me that it is never too late. Have faith and good luck.
Reply:Go for it!! It's never too late and you're still "young enough" to go back for 4 years (or more) to attain your goals. Your child(ren) will take it all in stride as part of your daily routine and just think of those end results - a better life for your family. It will be hard but persevere - life throws everybody some hard knocks - learn to roll.
Is going back to school and raising a family feasible?
I'd go for it, especially now while your child is small, because it's so much easier now than it will be when he/she is older. I'm a full time student with three kids, ages 12, 10 and 5 and it's hard, but I know when I'm done, I'll have a career that pays well and will enable me to better support my family. Just make sure your wife is onboard with the plan - school is difficult, and you'll probably need her support to get through it. In the end, while it will be difficult, it will be well worth it.
Good luck to you.
Reply:It depends on your present financial status as well as cooperation you are likely to get from your family members during your studies. Also whether you stay home or go out of station for studies. If odds are favorable and it increases your earnings significantly in future, you can go for it. The decision is yours.
Reply:Go to school - two things will happen. You will prepare for a better future for your family starting in 4 years AND your children will see that university is a perfectly normal part of dad's life and begin to see it in their own future as well. Children learn what they live.
Reply:It's doable, but it's hard. You've got to spend time in class and studying at home, possibly working (full or part time) and spending time with your family. Think about what schedules will look like before you start. Consider your wife's input too.
Reply:It will be hard at first but the rewards will be great. I had a cousin who went back to school and on to medical school. He has no regrets and always tells me that it is never too late. Have faith and good luck.
Reply:Go for it!! It's never too late and you're still "young enough" to go back for 4 years (or more) to attain your goals. Your child(ren) will take it all in stride as part of your daily routine and just think of those end results - a better life for your family. It will be hard but persevere - life throws everybody some hard knocks - learn to roll.
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