Can you read my essay and tell me what do you think?

do I have mistakes? Is it organized well ? and what kind of example i can give to cover all these aspects?





Young adults get benefits by serving their country.They receive free educational scholarships and grants to attent college or another post-secondary institution.They can also get free health insurance which includes payments to physicians, dentists,and hospitals. Similarly, they get financial support so they don't have to pay taxes. Young adults get experience of a lifetime. They experience things that we never thougth possible and go places most people only read about. They make difference for themselves, family and nation. For instance.....

Can you read my essay and tell me what do you think?
First off, you need to get your facts straight.


They do not get free educational scholarships - look up the GI Bill.


The free health insurance is only good for being seen by a doctor on a military installation or a VA hospital.


They DO pay taxes.


You have a LOT of research to do.
Reply:Spelling:


"attend" not "attent"





"thought" not "thougth"





Are you sure that military folks don't have to pay taxes? My brother was a "lifer" in the Army and even when he served during war had to pay taxes.





Your first sentence merely says "serving their country." This needs to be clarified-are you talking only about the military, or the military and the Peace Corps?





As for experiencing things "we never thougth [sic] possible"-you need specific examples. Start with physical fitness levels, which are usually at their peak when entering the military. Talk about specialized training. Then mention specific places where military people are stationed.
Reply:I would love to hear the whole thing when you are done, it catches your attention and it also makes you want to read on to find the answers and the knowledge. I think it is very good. Good Job!
Reply:Replace "get" with receive or earn. Attend is improperly spelled. Space after comma and dentists. Add the word the to the sentence, "young adults get the experience of a lifetime". Never use "things" in an essay, what things? Be specific. You are also missing a word in the last sentence, " they make difference". This should read like this, "young adults improve their own lives, the lives of their families and their nation.
Reply:Young adults can benefit by serving their country.They receive free educational scholarships and grants to attend college or another post-secondary institution.They can also get free health insurance which includes payments to physicians, dentists,and hospitals. Similarly, they get financial support so they don't have to pay taxes. Young adults get an experience of a lifetime. They enjoy things that we never thought possible and go places most people only read about. They make difference for themselves, family and nation. For instance
Reply:Hi! How are you? I really like it! For spelling!





Spelling:





"attend" not "attent"





"thought" not "thougth"





I think you need to do more research!





Have a great day!