Please be honest: What do you think of my writing and what needs improvement?

I am 13





Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl consists of diary entries written by a Jewish teenager named Anne Frank. Anne Frank is comfortably living with her mother, father, and sister in Amsterdam when the Nazis start taking Jews to concentration camps. The Frank family is forced to flee from their home and live in the building where Anne's father worked with another Jewish family by the name of Van Daan and an old dentist named Dussel. The eight Jews hide in these quarters, called the "Secret Annexe", for two years. In her diary, Anne Frank encounters the difficulties of becoming an adult, the progress of World War II, and the philosophy that men should be valiant and happy no matter what.


The book is amazing. I particularly suggest teenagers and other Jews to read this book, for teenagers will relate to Anne's experiences as she ages in the book from thirteen to fifteen years old, and Jews will be again reminded what happened during this time and what we should learn from it.

Please be honest: What do you think of my writing and what needs improvement?
Explain how Anne Frank encounters the difficulties of adulthood, the progress of World War II, and the man philosophy. Also explain why you liked this book.
Reply:A very good summary. Three and a half stars.





The only suggestion I have would be to mention a bit more about what Anne was thinking, what else did she write in her diary. I know she was interested in the one young boy that was there with her ... a "date" consisted of sitting next to each other.
Reply:it was good. tell about her romanic with the boy.
Reply:Your sentences are great. My only comment is that you may want to rearrange what you put on the paper into a more orderly paper. The first sentence stands, but then maybe skip to the sentence " In her diary, she encounters the difficulties..."


Then expound on each of the difficulties in one paragraph each.


Finally, make your ending paragraph your personal opinions.





In the first paragraph: 1. A Topic Sentence 2. A sentence with three or four points to be explained in the body of the paper. 3. A lead in sentence. These three sentences form the first paragraph.


Then, use the next three or four paragraphs to explain #2. Finally, create that great ending paragraph to summarize what you said previously. One paper doesn't have to say it all. But you have a great start. Good Luck!
Reply:Good summary. It gives a fair idea about the book.
Reply:Looks good -- here are a few minor suggestions, just to help it flow better. :-) Hope it helps. Aloha





Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl consists of diary entries written by a Jewish teenager named Anne Frank.





Anne Frank is comfortably living with her mother, father, and sister in Amsterdam when the Nazis start taking Jews to concentration camps. The Frank family is forced to flee from their home and live in the building where Anne's father worked with another Jewish family {their name can be deleted here} and an old dentist named Dussel.





The eight Jews hide in {'these' can be deleted here} quarters called the "Secret Annexe" for two years. In her diary, Anne Frank encounters the difficulties of becoming an adult, the progress of World War II, and the philosophy that men should be valiant and happy no matter what.





The book is amazing. I particularly suggest teenagers and other Jews {'to' can be deleted here} read this book. {remove 'for' and begin new sentence} Teenagers will relate to Anne's experiences as she ages {in the book is obvious} from thirteen to fifteen years old, and Jews will again be reminded what happened during this time.... and what we should learn from it.
Reply:i think its a great summary for a 13 year old. you are an awesom writher. but i think the part where u said "I particularly suggest teenagers and other Jews to read this book,"


and "and Jews will be again reminded what happened during this time and what we should learn from it." are a little bit sensitive topics to talk about





maybe you could put this book reminds us of what happened during this time and can help others learn so this tragic event will never occur in our history again.
Reply:Your writing is good, You've structured your sentences effectively and with proper grammar.





If the object of the exercise is to fit your synopsis on the back of a book, then your synopsis might be a bit too long. Do you have an idea of the maximum number of words you can use that will fit on the back of a book?





Also, the back of a book typically does not have first person comments. Those are usually put at the front and are listed as quotes from a reviewer.





In any case, I think you are off to a GREAT start. Refine your words and be more concise, the better to distill the essence of the book