My wife left me, she's staying at her parents, say's it's over.?

My wife left me, to go stay at her parents, she came by Easter Sunday and got mad again because I pointed out that she was driving my 3 year old without a car seat. She doesn't like to be told anything that has to do with responsibility like making a payment on time, scheduling dentists appointments for the kids or cooking dinner, more than 3 times a week. I was laid off of my job for 10 years last year and it got worse. She said she was going to get a job and didn't, than I proposed we take the Real Estate Course, she said she would but didn't follow trough, now she's volunteering at school several times a week, several hours a week and says she wants to be a teacher, I say it's fine with me. However she wants me to do lots of house chores, arguing that it's 50/50 but this angers me because she's never helped me with any of the finances, even this past year that I had to do different things in order to keep the family afloat.

My wife left me, she's staying at her parents, say's it's over.?
So..whats the problem?
Reply:why don't you tell her slowly and manly that she should accept her faults cauze no one is perfect everyone makes mistakes.talk to her but becareful and be more patient
Reply:You went 10 YEARS without a job? She should have left you a long time ago.
Reply:If you both are not working then you should share the chores.50/50 She sounds lazy and irresponsible.Encourage her to go with you to a marriage counselor and if she is not willing then you can stay with her and be miserable or you can pick yourself up,dust yourself off and move forward without her.Good Luck
Reply:marriage counselor
Reply:you lucky lucky lucky bast.ard
Reply:sounds like youll be the one to benefit from it being over. youll be able to spend quality time with your son on weekends and by all means buy your son a car seat for moms car...please. let her go she sounds like shes holding you back...
Reply:Please take your time in making any drastic decisions. Remember that your have a child involved. Try some counselling. It helps, even if it is a little. I hope all goes well.
Reply:It suck's dude, I know where you are coming from. No one can answer this for you, it something you will have figure out for you and your kids. Good luck, I'm in the same boat.
Reply:I think you should set down with her and tell her how you feel. Let her know that she needs to be more responsible and help around the house. Good Luck!
Reply:Talk it out with her... relationships are like that... i guess the more problems, the more solid it gets... don't give up... GREATluck to u...
Reply:Well, you are really in a tough situation there buddy... The best thing you can do is just let her stay with her parents for the meantime and give her time to think what she really wants in her life and in the situation of your relationship... I'm really proud of you buddy because you're being a very good husband to her and a good father to your child because you're showing how responsible you are... But the way that she treats you, its wrong buddy, she wants you to be under her rules and that's not fair in your part because your that husband... When you think its the right time, try to talk to her and tell her how you feel about the situation of you marriage and be honest that you don't like her desired set-up and she's being unfair... Let her understand all the sacrifices that you are doing just to make your family survive... The husband doesn't have to do all the job, maybe higher responsibility but not meaning all... Tell her that the true meaning of marriage is for the married couple to help and support each other... All kinds of relationship has to be a two-way street to be able to progress, let her understand that... Goodluck buddy...
Reply:why don't you stop being so petty and get off your BUTT and just do some housework...you live there too don't ya ?? and your kids make mess too don't they?? you don't seem to be working so whats ya problem... so what if she has not helped you with finances she is doing what she needs to do in order to gain a career..housework is a fulltime job not to mention kids..and housewives don't get paid for that ...You can't make her do things she does not want to do career wise...How can she keep a job, run a household ,look after kids and train to be a teacher. Seems like she just finally stood up to you and your controlling ways.And as for 3 yr olds in car seats it'sabout at that age that they are usually big enough to sit in a car without one anyways.This is the 21st centuary you know.. wake up .
Reply:You two really need to get a marriage counselor but that is only if you both want to keep the marriage together. Otherwise you are really going to need to move on with your life and get a job. A counselor for just you may also help.
Reply:Boy you have some big problems. Don't you wonder how you got to where you are now?


My husband has had times where he has been laid off. WHile he is at home he helps with everything. He realizes that in order for us both to give the kids the kind of time and attention they need from us he had to help out. And you know what he did not mind one bit. He also admits how hard running a smooth household could be.


From what you said the two of you think that you should have seperate limits on the jobs you do around the house. In order to go forward and have a happy family you two need to work together. I don't doubt what you say about her is true and you won't get very far by pointing out what she does wrong. (Granted the car seat issue was extremely dumb on her part). So suck it up , keep an open mind, and be nice. Say what you mean, but don't say it mean. If she isn't cleaning and cooking there must be some huge messes around the house. Why don't you tell her that now that you are home and have the time you would like to help her clean up one specific area. Don't make it a huge one because it is going to take some time for you guys to get used to working with each other. Don't give in to smart remarks. Just say nothing or if you are quick crack a joke about it.


If you just take one thing at a time you two will learn to do all sorts of things together and become great friends too. The kids will see this and they will get along in the family better too. Just keep it simple, don't expect a whole lot at first, and appreciate the good you do get. You two are at odds right now. I feel that if you don't take the first step your marraige is going to come to a screaming halt and you must still love her or you wouldn't have asked for help!
Reply:go see a marriage counsellor before it's too late. I can see your side but I can also see her side. you need to cooperate and try to get along better or else you will end up divorced.
Reply:Your wifesoundslike she either has a problem with responsibility or it is a mental block of some kind, either way there is a problem and you need to find out just what it is..
Reply:Yes, you should call quite also.I can not believe that she is very very selfish to you and your children.She is for you when you have money.What kind of wife is that? I do volunteer in school also and this year is my 16-17 years but my husband has a job.I am doing find.I work at home and my husband does nothing at all and he only work outside.I do not mind because,I am not working and I love volunteer in school and community so I do more work at home. I never miss one payment and my three kids are healthy and my eldest will go to college.She received scholarships and able to go to 14 colleges.Because,the deed I served teachers and volunteer outside my homes.If your wife wants to be a teacher let her have and you need to move on.Go and find help about your job.Do not file for divorce yet.You need to move on your life and find a job first then thing will be in place.


I really hear your pain and women now they are very lazy.Some of them do not cook food and helping out at home,school or community.They only sit at home and that all.( amazing women) By the way, if my husband loose his job I do not mind to be poor and I will help and start work as soon as I can.Please be strong and do not give in to her term because,job is hard to find and you and her can loose your home easily.Take care and try Yahoo job search you may be lucky my friend.I wish you find a nice job and i feel your pain.
Reply:I wouldn't say it's over. Sounds like something below the surface is bothering her. Sounds like you need to have a long deep conversation with her. You two made a commitment to be married and you have children. It is very important for children to have good role models in their lives. If she doesn't want to talk or if it is uncomfortable for the two of you for fear of arguing- I would suggest getting 2 notebooks and writing down how you feel. Maybe you can type a small questionnaire and have each of you fill it out. Sometimes when you write down how you feel or what's bothering you, all the things you got so worked up about don't seem like much of a deal anymore. If you really love this woman and want things to work, be proactive. Hope everything works out for you and your family.