How do i get over being jealous of my new husband's 1st family?

"tom" was married before for 5 yrs with a 8 yr old son.tom allways has money and time for his 1st family but with me hes allways to "busy" and broke. here are just some examples.whenever toms ex calls(which is often) and wants him to take his son to the dentist,DR's ect he drops everything for her.But if i ask if he can take time off from work to help me he never can.If his ex calls for extra money(he already pays her what the court orders and then some) he allways come up with it but if i want to go out to eat(which is about once a month) he tells me hes broke.I don't want to sound like an evil stepmom as i love his son i just wish tom showed as much interest in me as his 1st family.

How do i get over being jealous of my new husband's 1st family?
i bet if you guys had your own little faimly he would pay less attention to your ex..
Reply:Sounds like to me he is an excellent father who goes the extra mile to help out his son. And he is helping out his son not his ex, giving her more money is for his son, taking him to appt helps his son. Id say talk to him seriously that you want him to spend more time on your marriage, dont drag his son into this cause it is not about him spending time with his son, but a matter of him not spending time with you. time and money he spends on his son is not time and money he is taking away from you, children always come first.
Reply:This is what you chose by marrying a divorcee. I think if you fight him on this, you will lose. Either find a way to accept this or move on. And don't start your own family thinking he will change, because he most likely will not. Don't bring more kids into this.
Reply:so for get it just don't care if he had a family if you can't brake up get a new one
Reply:Well, you have to remember that he is a father. I believe that some of the qualities you are complaining about now are the same ones that attracted you to him. He seems extremely loyal. He seems to be a wonderful father. And from what you say, I don't hear anything about him doing anything for his ex-wife personally.





You need to look at where his motivation is coming from. It seems like he is taking care of his son.





Now you do need to seperate the two when you present this to him. If you feel like he is not there for you then that's what you need to let him know. You have a good man. He just needs some fine tuning.
Reply:Ewwwww..... blending families is never easy, but it is possible. Do you have children of your own ? If so, you understand the committment to them, even after divorce. The kids will come first until they're on their own... and maybe even after that too. The two of you are partners... you need to support your partner and not ever be "jealous" of his child. Understandable that you'd like to go out for dinner occasionally... did you ever think of asking HIM out to dinner... on YOUR tab ? Just because he's a man doesn't mean he has to be the one to take you out Be proud of your husband for taking care of his responsibilities... and trust him... unless you have a damn solid reason not to. You'll get out of life what you put into it. Aim to get back to the reasons you fell for him in the first place.