My friends and family don't respect fiance's career?

My fiance Bruce and I plan on being married over the 4th of July weekend.We've been dating for 2 years and to me is beyond great. All my parents think that he's a loser and has no motivation.My father is a dentist,my mother is a pharmacist and I just got my PHD in chemistry and have been teaching at the university the past 2 semesters.We all are highly educated,all been to grad school,as have everyone else in my immediate family(sisters a pediatrition.)All our family friends are also college educated,doctors and lawyers.My fiance is a mechanic.Actually a master mechanic,but he only has a degree from a tech school.He is a hard worker and makes great money as the lead mechanic at the ford dealership,plus he works some side jobs on weekends for our "fun money" as he calls it.He also goes back to school every year for refresher classes,to keep him up to date on new cars.he is so good to me and I want my family to accept him,but they refuse to even come to the wedding.What can I do?

My friends and family don't respect fiance's career?
You can tell them they will see you the next time they come and visit you and your husband.
Reply:All that matters is that u accept it. U are the one who has to live w/ him not them so if they don't accept it then who cares!
Reply:your whole family is pretty shallow. he loves to do what he loves to do. i'd hate to be a doctor or pharmacists or one of those rats.
Reply:You live your life for yourself, not for your family. I know how that feels. My dad is the same way (looks down at people who works in trades). I would say your family will eventually come around. Your happiness is more important than what they like to push you to believe.
Reply:Let them refuse, then. A marriage is about "us against the world," so ignore them and if they don't come then they can get over it, but I wouldn't fret too much because you deserve people and family who will accept you for who you are. If you are the leas tbit unhappy with your relationship, I could see where they are coming from, but if not, just be happy and stick to it!! Your family cannot control your life!! =D Good luck!
Reply:Nothing. Your parents should accept him the way he is. What he does is a very skilled talent, and although much different than yours or your families, it doesn't make him less of a man. It's what he does and he's good at it. There is nothing you can do to change that and your family should respect him simply because you love him. What is it they really want for you, money or happiness?
Reply:wow tough one there





you come from a family of Phds and what not


and you set your sight low on a mechanic ( who works at a FORD dealership no less... next time aim for a Toyota, they are number one in the USA )


i will tend to agree with your parents


though not going to the wedding is a bad call on their part





most college educated end up marrying likewise


so how you went blue collar on them is anyones guess





there is a high chance you will end up divorce


dues to the financial and educational differences


so do not plan on having children





i am just warning you





there is a classic saying for people


water seeks it's own level





you did not
Reply:What matters is if he is a good guy and truly cares about you.
Reply:You %26amp; your family may be highly educated, but not entirely educated on life itself. They sound very pompous to me %26amp; irritating. My fiance's dream is to rebuild cars %26amp; I totally support it. There is a huge amount of money in that. Maybe they will feel better when he's made a 50K profit on a car. Total BS in my opinion. If they don't support you now, they never will.
Reply:It seems to me that you are happy and to me that's all that matters .....your parents have lived there life now you go out and live yours.....Mechanics ....do make good money the certified ones ..I actually know a doctor and her husband is a mechanic .............enjoy your life and be happy ....you found love some people can't even find that .......
Reply:Your the one who thinks hes wonderful....and he makes great money. You are the one marrying him, not your parents. I know you want your family at your wedding but if they are going to be assholes about it, I wouldn't want them there anyways.


He loves you, he is good to you, and he wants to spend the rest of his LIFE with you making you happy...that is what is important. Not what your job is.


If my parents were pissed off at what my husband does for a living, and refused to accept him, well too bad for you. I am incredibly happy.


Your family needs to grow some new brains and realize that all of this will tear the family apart. Shame on them.
Reply:Disown your family
Reply:are you serious?! you have an awful family. family is supposed to be there for you. i would sort of understand if he didnt work at all, then your family would be trying to protect you from poverty and possibly depression. but your fiance has a job and hes not going to be finacially holding you back. your family needs some lessons on how to be a family. im not trying to offend you but you and your fiance deserve more support than that
Reply:What can you do about what? You can't force people to be kind, compassionate, welcoming, or even decent human beings.


Remind me not to go to your dentist father-- my teeth probably aren't good enough for him lol





If they refuse to come to the wedding, it's their loss. Don't kiss their butts trying to convince them.
Reply:Don't get too worked up over it. Sooner or later when one of their precious vehicles brakes down, they will come running and begging for his help. Until then you love your fiance and that's all that matters. If you want tell them that you are not going to have any contact with them until they can learn to respect your fiance for who he is instead of what he does.
Reply:okay so if you really love this guy and your parents arent going to come to the wedding thats pretty low.





but just talk to them and say something like "i love him and i dont care what his job is (even though it is a good one) and he can provide for me. so i would really appericate if you put your differences aside and do what makes me happy. and come to the wedding. trust me hes a great man"
Reply:So your own mother wants credentials above a very, very happy daughter? Stick together, after all when you close the front door at night its just you and him, not your mother, father etc.
Reply:Get married in Las Vegas! I was afraid that my family would not accept my husband because, he has 6 children with 4 different mothers. I took a very big risk. After my family found out about it; there was nothing anyone could do about it. It was done and they had to accept him. We are still married. He's 40, I'm 32 and we still goof around like were in high school.
Reply:They are just upset because they wont have inlaws to play croquet an to have tea and biscuits with. Theyll get over it or they wont. But if you love him and he loves you then thats all that matters. Being a mehanic is great money and it involves math, engineering, mechanics, physics, and so much more. But dont hold back because of them. I hope everything works out.
Reply:I think your parents are being totally unfair. I also think if you sit them down and tell them what you've told us they'll relise how much it means to you. You've got a while b4 your wedding so i'm sure they'll come round. The main ting is your doing the right thing marrying your husband to be and by the sounds of it he makes you very happy, thats all that counts. My family hated my husband for no reason just like this but they soon relised if he makes u happy they're happy. They all talk now not bast mates but its cool.
Reply:Seems to me that you are the one with the problem, not your family. You are much too concerned about what all those "educated" people will say. If I were your fiancee, I would have to take an additional look at all these "educated" people and perhaps change my mind and wanting to associate with them for the rest of my life. And, Oh yes, Ms. PhD.......you may want to dust off some of your English books and practice correct sentence structure and punctuation! See, honey, even "educated" people have their flaws. I feel sorry for this guy.....I hope he comes to his senses and dumps you and your "educated" family!!!!
Reply:Go ahead with your life.....you are an adult and you know what's best for you---you do NOT have to please your family and friends....you know, my mother did that, and I didn't back down. I got disowned, I was looked down at--the works. My husband and I moved to the United States and my mother had no idea that she had grandchildren. She regretted it, believe me. She met her grandson when he was 7 and her granddaughter when she was 13. She lost a lot in that both children remembered that they did not have her for their first years. I was happy with my husband--I have a degree in accounting and in criminal justice, and my mom felt that at least I should marry an officer not just a regular soldier--I did what was best for me, and I ended up being the happy person, I ended up having children with high self-esteem and who seek good education themselves---it was totally my mother's loss--she lost 13 years with me, and she never saw her grandchildren grow.....so go on and be happy with your man. I really don't think that just because your mom and dad are docs and pharmarcists they are anything better, because if they didn't have guys like your Bruce they would have to walk to work......I guess what I am trying to say is that no matter whom you bring home your parents will always find flaw in it, and you do not get married to please your parents and friends--let them be snobs, it's their loss---education of the heart is more important than all the education in this world....
Reply:It's a shame that your family are such snobs. The work he is doing is very important to helping the world as we know it function. Maybe they'd like him better if he worked on higher priced cars! (Sorry, just being sarcastic.) He is doing honorable and essential work, and I'm glad you're proud of him.





The important thing is that he loves you and treats you well.





It's painful to have to think that you might have to make a choice between you family and your fiance, but it may come to that. Bruce sounds like a wonderful guy. Not accepting him into the family with love makes it THEIR loss!
Reply:No car last forever. These same people that look down on your fiance are not smart enough to realize he could help them out tremendously and even give them a big discount if they have car troubles.
Reply:Ok if he makes you happy. YOur family should be happy for you. Is not like he doesn't have a job. He is a hard worker. They need to accept the fact that this is the man you want to spend the rest of life with and trust that you made a good decision
Reply:Well, sense your family and friends don't have to marry him I'd tell them butt out. Nothing more sexy in my opinion than a hard working man. Tell them you're quite insulted if they would think you would be satisfied with an idiot for a husband, after you say your piece forget about their opinions and enjoy your man.
Reply:Your family needs a reality check, PRONTO! They are being absolutely ridiculous. A degree does not make a person. My brother is a mason with his own masonry and carpentry business and he married a girl with a PhD. They get along famously. What, does your family think less of "normal" people?? Well, without us who would fix their cars, build their houses, cut their hair, sell them their fancy clothes, and protect their lives (yes, I'm a cop and I only have 2 years of college.) Tell your parents that without people like your future husband they wouldn't be able to live their privileged lives.





Good luck!!